


Know That Your Place Is With Me

by titania522



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: Canon Divergent, F/M, Prompts in Panem, everlark fanfiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-29
Updated: 2014-09-12
Packaged: 2018-02-15 05:10:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 24,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2216931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/titania522/pseuds/titania522
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Katniss and Peeta live in a Panem that classifies its citizens by Castes, forever dividing people from each other.  But the heart knows no boundaries. Written for Prompts in Panem Peeta's Paintbox Everlark Writing Challenge, Day 4: Green.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Part 1 (Peeta's POV)**

 

**The minute I heard my first love story,**

**I started looking for you, not knowing**

**how blind that was.**

**Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere,**

**they’re in each other all along.**

**from _The Essential Rumi_ translated by Coleman Barks**

The only thing that entered Peeta’s awareness as he lay prone on the homemade mattress was the blistering heat of the hearth. Normally, it would have been a welcome respite from the snow and frost that covered the land, were it not for the throbbing pain of his flogged back. Katniss had covered him with a snow coat but the icy coolness that had momentarily relieved the all-encompassing, boiling pain had melted too soon, leaving him in a fog of suffering again.  

At first, he’d felt courageous as they tied him to the pole in the square. Katniss’ screams punctuated the space between blows until, by the 10th lash, Peeta’s own voice had become hoarse from his cries and he’d become dizzy from the pain. By the 15th, he was delirious and no longer heard anything except the blood rushing to his head. In all, he had taken twenty lashes.

Katniss could barely handle his dead weight when he was untied and left to collapse unceremoniously to the ground.  The crowd in District 12 was silent as she tried to drag him from the pole but Peeta was too heavy.  Commander Thread did not give Peeta’s moaning, semiconscious form a second glance, and he had even less attention to spare the Untouchable, who sobbed hysterically next to him.  He simply pronounced his sentence succinctly, without compassion and through the confusion inflicted by his flogging, Peeta heard his and Katniss’ life as they knew it come to an end:

“For the crime of Blood Contamination from the illicit union of this Merchant with an Untouchable, we hereby condemn them both to the severest penalty under the law.  Henceforth, Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark will be banished from Panem.  Let no man, from this day forward, acknowledge their existence. Let no man lend them assistance. Let their names be erased from our ledgers for all of eternity.”

Peeta watched Katniss’ face became hard with grief and anger.  She appeared to search the crowd, perhaps for her mother whose wail had pierced the air or her sister’s anguished face.   One by one, everyone in the crowd turned their backs to them in a final, symbolic gesture, severing their bonds from the community.  Peeta’s own mother was the first to turn away, a look of fierce disgust on her face.  His brothers followed suit while his father lingered until he was one of the few who still refused until the last moment to turn their backs on them.  

Gale Hawthorne, Katniss’ hunting partner and best friend, clenched his hands with a face full of fury to rival Katniss’ own and made to come towards them, but Katniss put her hands up and whispered “No!”, a sound that carried across the silent open square like a gunshot.  He would be killed on the spot if he helped them.  Instead she muttered “Protect them,” to which he gave a final nod before turning away as well.

Katniss turned her stricken face towards Peeta’s and ran her hands through his damp hair. In that moment, he understood regret. He didn’t regret loving her - he’d do it all over again, a thousand times through a thousand lives, for all of eternity.  No, he regretted that because of him, she would be separated forever from everyone she fought to protect.  Peeta was sure that had he known things would end up this way, he would not have insisted on being with her and would have simply continued to love her from afar.

 

XXXXX

 

1 year earlier

 

Peeta hadn’t always known who Katniss was.  He hadn’t even known her name.  The first time he saw her, they were both eleven years old. She was a slight, starving girl rummaging through the trash bins outside the bakery. The day was an angry as well as stormy one, for his mother had done the accounts and found they would just barely have something left over for themselves after paying the heavy taxes the Capitol imposed on its Merchant class.  

Theirs was a stratified society - the Primes lived in the Capitol and were considered the pure bloods of Panem, worthy of ruling the remaining twelve Districts.  The Capitol maintained their opulent standard of living through tithes that were paid each year - whether in money or in the materials each District produced.  In the case of District 12, this was coal.

The Logos were the Public Servants - teachers, administrators and Peacekeepers.  Their privileges were many but their tithes were steep - they turned their children over to institutes to be trained in the profession of their families.  The children of Peacekeepers were removed from their families at the age of 7 to train in District 2’s military academies and become the upholders of the Capitol’s laws.

Peeta’s family belonged to the Merchant class. They were the bakers, butchers, cobblers, seamstresses and so on.  They maintained the commercial activities of the districts and provided the manufactured goods that were then sold either to the Capitol or to the citizens of their home districts.  Their tithe was a flat tax that they paid each month, based on their income.  In the case of the Mellarks, if they did not meet their monthly sales quota, between the tithes and expenditures required to run the bakery, they could be left with very little for their own maintenance.

Below the Merchants were the Laborers, the class that worked the mines, fields and factories.  Their lot was harsh and impoverished but they still had some status in the community.  Their offering was their labor and the production quota for each month in their respective areas.  Coal miners produced coal in exchange for enough to feed their families, keeping them just barely out of starvation.

But the worst off were the Untouchables.  They were the invisible members of society: the orphans and widows, infirmed and handicapped, aged Avoxes who were no longer useful to their owners.  In short, they were the people no one wanted to see. They survived through self-sustenance: small gardens and domesticated animals. They engaged in lowly services.  Or they begged. The children of the Untouchables even had their own small schools but they learned very little.

The Untouchables lived in the most impoverished part of the laborer quarter called the Seam.  This section of the district bordered the fences leading to the Wild Lands beyond, where no man ventured for fear of the creatures that were rumored to live there.  In fact, there were elaborate superstitions and horror stories about the fate of those who dared violate the boundaries of the community.  On the border between civilization and the untamed, those unwanted people were easy to ignore.

Was it no wonder then that, until the stormy, thunder-filled day, Peeta had never noticed the grey-eyed girl who collapsed beneath the apple tree?

But that day he had.  It was as if all the fight had gone out of her, especially after his mother had run her off from their garbage bins, shouting obscenities about Seam filth and defiled Untouchables.  He watched the girl scurry away, crossing the yard in front of the bakery, before she crumpled to the ground. Her exhaustion was so absolute, Peeta felt the heaviness weigh down his very soul.  

At that moment, he heard the bell from the oven timer go off but instead of leaping to attention to pull the berry and nut loaves from the burning maw of heat, he let them go.  After several minutes his mother barrelled down towards him, her rage flaring above the smell of the burning bread.  She pulled the loaves out of the oven and, with her heated hand, slapped Peeta across the face.

“You beast!” she shouted, her flat, blue eyes darkening in anger.  “Feed it to the pigs, you stupid creature. Why not?  No decent person will buy burnt bread!”

Peeta took his blow silently - he knew how to take a beating - and gathered up the burnt loaves in his arms.  Making his way to the pig pen, he stopped at the fence, tearing off pieces of the bread as his mother watched him like a gargoyle.  When the front bakery bell rang and his mother disappeared to help a customer, he surreptitiously searched for the girl again.  The rain was falling mercilessly now, and though he was covered by the awning above the pen, she was exposed to the elements, the wind and water howling over her small body.  She looked up at him and the hollow emptiness of her eyes that gripped him, penetrating to the depths of his soul, moving past his compassion and empathy and rooting itself in the very center of his existence.  They were two mournful crystals that affixed themselves to the pendant of his heart and, instead of tossing the bread to the snorting brutes, Peeta launched them with almost perfect precision towards that suddenly lovely girl.  Her eyes widened in shock, then softened, before she stuffed the loaves in her oversized shirt as he moved towards the bakery without a backward glance.

 

XXXXX

 

He saw her again the very next day, standing at the edge of the field beyond the bakery in the late afternoon.  School had let out some hours ago and Peeta had already begun his shift. He was taken aback at seeing her twice in so many days, when he had never been aware of her existence before.  He stopped, for the coincidence of her apparition was too strong to ignore.

Her incredibly clear, grey eyes appeared to traverse his features, lingering over the swollen cheek where his mother’s blow had landed.  She furrowed her brow before moving her eyes past him to stare at some indiscriminate point behind Peeta.  The intensity of her gaze was so powerful, he felt compelled to follow her line of sight.  

Turning about, all that he could see was the ground, with its patches of vegetation growing up between the rocks and a lonely dandelion, which stood turgid and proud in the midst of that wasteland of blooming grasses.  Peeta was confused and turned back to the girl, as if her eyes could solve the mystery but when he searched the spot where she stood before, he found it empty.  Like the wind, Katniss had disappeared.

 

XXXXX

 

After several months, Peeta began to see Katniss more frequently in town.  She came around, accompanied by an older Seam boy who was so similar in appearance to Katniss that Peeta thought they might be related.  They had the same olive skin, straight black hair and grey eyes.  They were careful to avoid Peacekeepers as they went to the poorer homes in the Merchant quarter to trade squirrels and other wild game.  In a society where even speaking to an Untouchable was considered contaminating, the idea of buying food caught from those people would have been considered an abomination.  However, this detail of Katniss and her friend’s caste did not deter Peeta’s father and others from trading with them for the fresh meat they offered.  Hunger was the great equalizer.

When she came to the door of the bakery, Peeta sometimes let her in and that’s how he first learned that her full name was Katniss Everdeen, which he sometimes said to himself, enjoying the feel of those syllables on his tongue.  As the years passed and they both became older, her face changed, at first dramatically and then more subtly as she grew into her femininity.  She was always brisk and business-like during her trades, as if she didn’t remember that he was the one who had tossed her the bread on that blustery, rainy day so long ago.  

At first, Peeta took in stride the fact that they did not communicate. She was an Untouchable, after all, and in Panem, they were simply ignored altogether. It was her position in society that silenced his tongue.  But that soon turned into intimidation, admiration and then an unnamed anxiety that caused his stomach to curl in on itself, the blood rushing through his body with the force of a detonation.  He watched the alleyways between the shops to follow her progress as she made her way from one trade to the next.  In all that time, they never said more than hello or goodbye to each other, though a repository of words began to build inside of Peeta, all the things he imagined he would say to her, each word piling up on top of the other like snow falling on an ice-laden roof.

Peeta finally had his chance when they were both eighteen. He’d finished his formal schooling by then and was now working full-time in his parent’s bakery. It happened on his return from a bread delivery to the Mining office, which bordered directly with the Seam.  That is when he saw a figure moving quietly through the vegetation along the fence outside of the District.   Upon closer inspection, he realized it was Katniss herself.  Peeta carefully watched in shock as Katniss made her way down towards the sloping foot of a green meadow, near to which the fence seemed to be misshapen.  

Peeta’s heart pounded. It had never occurred to him that she actually left the District and entered the Wild Lands to hunt the meat she traded.  The legends told about them were terrifying - bands of giant wolves that would tear a grown man apart in a matter of seconds, mountain lions as large as tanks, birds that clawed their victims slowly to death. He could not fathom Katniss venturing into that milieu of nightmarish creatures.  As he tried to remain inconspicuous so he could continue to watch her, he caught sight of the tell-tale white uniforms of two Peacekeepers approaching the meadow. They spoke quietly between them so they did not quite catch sight of Katniss making her way unawares towards the opening of the fence.  

Peeta felt his heart race with terror. If Katniss was caught outside of the fence, she would be punished severely.  It was considered a serious offense to leave the District, even for an Untouchable.  He had to move quickly and, without thinking too deeply about his plan, gave a loud cry as if he had suddenly been hurt.

“Oh, ow!” he howled in agony.

The two Peacekeepers looked up from their conversation and approached where Peeta was sitting on the ground, holding his leg in what he felt was a rather good approximation of pain.  He hadn’t thought through the precise explanation so he said the first thing that came to mind.

“I think a snake bit me!”  he wailed, showing them the offending leg.

One of the Peacekeepers, a red-head that Peeta recognized as Darius, bent down to look at his leg.  “Snakes don’t usually come out in the winter and I don’t see any puncture wounds.  Are you sure?” he asked skeptically.

Peeta took a glance past Darius’ shoulder and saw Katniss frozen in the middle of the trees.  As quietly as possible, she slipped beneath the opening beneath the fence.

Breathing with relief, Peeta looked at the Peacekeepers with a sheepish expression.  “Sorry guys, I think it was just a shin splint.  It hurt like hell!”

He still continued to study Peeta’s leg while his companion Peacekeeper muttered angrily to himself. Satisfied with his examination, Darius said “Well, stretch it out and go on home.  You shouldn’t be in this part of town anyway.”

Peeta nodded, glancing quickly at the woods beyond the fence and was relieved to see that Katniss was no longer there.

XXXXX

Several days passed during which Peeta obsessed over the idea of Katniss hunting in the forest. He had dreams of her doing battle with those fabled creatures until it occurred to him that they just might not be real.  It also occurred to him that there were only two people in all of District 12 who could actually confirm this, for Gale was likely not only her trading partner, but likely her hunting partner as well.  This realization twisted his stomach - maybe they were a couple?  

Like the quickly-descending mists so typical of the mountains where they lived, Katniss appeared at the back door of the bakery, breaking Peeta’s revery. She wore her hair in what he now considered her signature braid, her leather jacket shiny in places from being worn so often.  Her button-down brown shirt was worn at the collars and cuffs and her pants were at least two sizes too large - held up by a man’s belt.  Yet her face was as clear as a spring morning, the fresh, crisp air of the forest emanating from her body, filling the yeasty air of the back room with the intoxicating smell of pine cones and acorns.

“I have two squirrels and a quail today,” she said without preamble, though her voice was less steady than usual.

“That’s a lot.  A loaf of sourdough sound fair?” he asked.

She lifted her bright, grey eyes to his face and he was taken aback by the penetrating gaze, the way it bore down into him like two shiny pearls of light.  If the utter perfection of her eyes confounded him, what she said next disarmed him completely.  “Nothing. I don’t want anything in exchange for the game.”

Peeta furrowed his eyes as he processed her words. “Nothing?”

She placed the game directly on the counter.  It was inside a game bag tied with a piece of orange ribbon.  The tie itself was adorned with an evergreen bough whose needle tips appeared to have a dusting of powdery-white frost.

“I...to thank you...for yesterday…” she stuttered, shifting uncomfortably on her feet.

Katniss had left him speechless. She had never spoken so much to him in all the time she’d come to trade and her voice sounded liked warmed honey - husky and yet unmistakably feminine.  Her words hung in the air, demanding attention and he finally shook himself from his stupor to respond, “You don’t need to thank me.”

“I do!” Katniss said abruptly. “I’m no one that you should care about what happens to me.  You shouldn’t even be speaking to me!”  She pushed the bag further towards him.  “The bough - it’s from a special tree. If you ...wrap it and place it in a drawer, it will leave a nice smell...on your clothes.”  With that, she turned around and slipped out the door before he even had the presence of mind to try to stop her.  Stealthily, like a cat, she moved through the alleyways of the buildings until she had disappeared.

Setting the meat in the cooler, Peeta went swiftly upstairs to his bedroom. He promptly wrapped the bough as she had instructed and placed it inside the drawer where he kept his pajamas.  That night he slept with the smell of Katniss on his skin and a powerful longing for her blossomed within him, a longing that began to invade his every dream.

XXXXX

Katniss’ next several visits were unremarkable. She came. She presented her catch. She negotiated with his father for bread and left as quietly as she came.  Outside an occasional glance in Peeta’s general direction, she gave no indication that she even acknowledged his existence. Meanwhile, he had become fixated on the small tidbits of information he’d collected about her - her dark, braided hair that always lay over her left shoulder, the worn leather of the too-large men’s jacket, her jagged fingernails often caked with dried blood, the way she had of standing so still, she seemed to merge into the background with the furniture and wallpaper; the smell of spring that would now always remind him of her.

He found himself wandering the edge of the Seam over the course of the following week, a place no one of his caste ever visited for any reason.  In particular, he would have no cause to visit the green meadow with the fence at the foot of the slope, no reason to linger near the bent opening of the metal meant to keep humans in and wild animals out.  But he did so in the hopes of seeing her again.

Each day, every day, at times that varied with his instinct, his mood and the number of people he had to avoid, he went to where he thought he might find her until one day, when he had almost tired of waiting and was ready to turn back, he finally saw Katniss.  Her hunting bag swung heavily from her shoulder and Peeta supposed it must have been a good hunting day.

Peeta had not considered what he should do if he did come upon her, nor did he have much time to devise a plan, for when she slipped under the fence, she caught sight of him right away and froze in place. Her eyes went wide with terror and her body became very still.  Peeta had no idea what he should do as he ran his hands through his thick, ashy blond hair to calm his nerves.

“I...the evergreen branch.  I’ve...never smelled anything like it,” he stammered.

Katniss stared at him with wide, frightened eyes, her body almost leaning as if she would take off at any moment and disappear into the woods again.  After several uncomfortable minutes, she answered, “White fir.”

“White fir?” Peeta asked, puzzled.

“The tree. My father called it a White Fir tree. It smells for weeks.” She relaxed her stance though her eyes still held a residual wariness.

Peeta smiled. “Well, I wanted to tell you that it is the most amazing thing I’ve ever smelled.”  He stepped closer to her. “It reminds me of you.”

Katniss’s eyes narrowed as she visibly processed his words. “You should not speak to me.”

“But I want to.”

“What you want doesn’t matter.  It’s the law,” she said, her voice hard.

“If I didn’t live in this place…” he started but Katniss cut him off quickly.

“But you do.”

“If I didn’t live in this place…” Peeta repeated patiently, “I would be your friend.”

Katniss studied him further, taking in his appearance. Peeta knew what he looked like to others - he was of medium height, stocky from lifting bags of sugar, with ashy blond hair that fell in waves over his forehead and became light blond in the summer sun. And his eyes were a deep blue, a trait he inherited from Nanna Mellark, eyes no one else in his family possessed.  He wondered at that moment what he might look like to Katniss.

“I can’t afford to take the risks you take. I have...my mother and sister. They depend on me.”

Peeta nodded and spoke to her in his gentlest voice. “I understand. I just feel like...we’re connected somehow.  Don’t you think?”  

Katniss looked at him for a few more seconds and, without any further discussion, turned on her heel to walk swiftly down the path.  Peeta’s resolve withered somewhat at her abrupt departure and he could do nothing more than stare after her retreating form.

XXXXX

Peeta was persistent in waiting for her for an entire week. If he had asked himself why, he would have given himself the same answer he gave her - that they were connected.  He had very few strong bonds with anyone, though he was affable and had many friends.  He had his family but there was so much conflict at home, he always felt himself on one side or the other of a battle line.  It was not an environment in which such feelings as solidarity and fealty could grow.  He felt himself allied with this girl in a way he was not to others in his life.

So he waited again, every single day before and after his shift until she appeared again, this time, approaching the fence from the Seam.

“You’re a pain,” she said by way of introduction.  “Why do you risk the trouble?”

Peeta straightened up, removing his hands from the pockets of his beige work pants. “I told you. I want to be your friend.  I want to get to know you.”

Katniss pressed her lips into a thin line.  “I’m not like those slag heap girls, you know. I don’t need to do that to eat.”

Peeta’s eyes widened in shock. “I’m not here for that!”

“Well, I’m just giving you fair warning in case that was what you were here for.  I hunt for my family and it keeps us alive. I don’t have to sell myself,” she said firmly, though a deep crimson flush crept beneath her olive skin.

“I promise you, that’s not what I’m looking for,” he said with equal firmness.

“Fine. I have to hunt though.  You’ve been hanging around here every day and I’m running low on supplies,” she said brusquely.

“Wait, so you knew I was here?” Peeta asked, astonished.

“Well, at least for the last couple of days. But I can’t put off hunting any longer.” She made to go under the fence when Peeta stepped towards her.

“Let me go with you.”

“No!” exclaimed Katniss. She stood up straight and looked Peeta in the eye.  “First you talk to me when you shouldn’t, then you want me to take you out in the woods?  Do you have a death wish?”

“I’ve never been out in the woods before.”  Peeta was ready to beg. “Let me come along.  At least we can talk without anyone catching us.”

Katniss took a deep breath, looking up at the deep blue early spring sky as she considered his request.  Shaking her head, she turned towards Peeta.  “Fine, you can come. Just don’t get in the way of me and my haul, okay?  Be as quiet as you can.”  

Peeta ducked under the fence behind Katniss, looking around to make sure that no one saw him. The difference in the air could not have been more significant - what possible difference could a chain-link fence make?  Yet Peeta felt it - it was a feeling he had never experienced in his life.  He tried to put a name to it and came up with the closest approximation that he could find.

Freedom.

This, too, would be forever connected to Katniss in his mind

.

XXXXX

Katniss’ idea of quiet and Peeta’s idea of quiet were clearly two distinct concepts.  As silently as Peeta tried to tread, he was still too noisy for Katniss, who walked as if she were made of air.  She pulled a homemade bow and arrow out of a hollow tree trunk and slung the quiver across her back. She gave him more than a few withering looks as he stomped through the forest behind her, occasionally stumbling and altogether making an incredible racket.  His distraction was partly to blame - he had never been surrounded by so many tall trees and he lost his concentration several times as he took in the wild environment.  At one point, Katniss slung her bow across her back and sighed in frustration.

“Let’s go this way,” she said in a clipped tone and though he was sorry to displease her, he was far too enraptured by his surroundings to think too much about it.

She indicated a large boulder not two hundred yards from the fence and pointed at it. “Sit there.” She ordered.  Peeta did as he was told, settling himself on the hard surface of the rock.

“I won’t be long,” she said and turned to walk further into the trees.

Peeta waited patiently, taking in the crisp air, observing the way the trees towered over him, giving him a kind of vertigo. He studied a soft carpet of green that lay across several stones.  He didn’t resist the urge but touched it slowly, shocked at how soft it was.  He turned over stones to find insects and worms swarming below.  The silence was so absolute and yet full - of birds and the wind - so different from the quiet of town. He was in a magical place and did not want to leave.

After almost an hour, from what he could tell, Katniss returned with a full game bag.  He looked quizzically at her, then grinned sheepishly.

“I was that noisy, wasn’t I?” He looked apologetic and though Katniss did not smile along with him, her cheeks became rose-colored.

“A little.” Katniss dropped her eyes in embarrassment and took a seat next to him.  “I normally don’t need a lot of time to catch game this season of the year but you were scaring everything away for at least 10 miles.”

“Sorry,” he said. “I’ll trade whatever you’ve got there for something special this afternoon, to compensate for the lost game.”

Katniss gave him a sideways look. “I don’t need charity. I still managed a good haul.”

“But it might have been better if I hadn’t come along.  Please, stop by the bakery this afternoon after closing.  I’m on the evening shift.  I make the best cheese buns in my family.”

“I know,” Katniss said, turning her head away but not before he saw the small smile that danced on her lips.

Peeta became excited at the prospect of seeing her twice in one day.  “So you’ll come?”

Katniss nodded, twirling the tie of her game bag compulsively around her smudged fingers.

“Okay, I’ll come.”

XXXXX

True to her word, Katniss appeared at the back steps of his parent’s bakery after the shop was locked up for the night.  His parents were resting from having woken so early and his older brothers were out and about.  Peeta was a bundle of nerves, taking extra care to make the buns and keep them warm.  His mind raced between the certainty of her visit and the fear that she would change her mind.

So when he saw her outline in the window of the back door, he leapt out of his skin from excitement.

“You can sit here. You have to try them while they’re still warm,” he said as he pulled the basket of cheese buns to where she sat and fetched a plate and a cup.  “Whenever we have some leftover cheese, my mother lets us make some.  Not many but we each get to eat two of them because we sell the rest.”  He felt himself rambling and only just caught the strange look she gave him, a mix of chagrin and pity that confused him.

“What is it?” he asked, worried that he might have done something wrong.

“I just thought…I mean…with all this bread…” she said confusedly.

“You thought we had it made?  I mean, we aren’t exactly starving, that’s obvious. But we never eat fresh bread, except on very special occasions, like birthdays, the Harvest Festival or when special friends come over to trade cheese buns for squirrels,” he smiled, placing the warm bread on the plate before Katniss.  He watched her close her eyes and breathe in the scent of the decadent buns.  As she took a small bite of one of the warm puffs of bread, Peeta went to the stove and picked up a small milk pan.  He poured the burbling, dark liquid into a mug – just enough to fill it halfway before he took a spoon and scraped out the last of the thick concoction from the sides.

“This is so good!” she said around a mouth full of bread.  “What is that?” asked Katniss, eyeing the warm mug with curiosity.

“Hot chocolate.” Peeta smiled proudly at the mug.  “I chunked dark chocolate and added cream and sugar.  Take a bit of the bread and dunk it in.”

Katniss looked at him skeptically before breaking off a piece of the bread and doing as she was told.  She released a moan that was so full of pleasure, Peeta though his chest would be crushed from the sudden onslaught of something he could only describe as hunger.

“Wow,” said Katniss with reverence.

“Yeah, wow,” whispered Peeta, carried away by the transported look of satisfaction on Katniss’ face.  His gaze must have been intense because Katniss swallowed nervously and asked, “What?”

“You just have no idea the effect you can have, do you?” he whispered, to which she lowered her eyes, unable to hold his gaze.  He watched her take the second bun and eat it slowly, savoring the luxurious, buttery flavor.  When she was done, she looked up to see him staring at her.  Peeta felt the tension in the room rise and he was uncertain how to break it without scaring her away.  It was Katniss who finally dispelled the mood.

“I should go, before someone comes.  This was…generous…of you,” she said quietly.

“Please, take the other ones. For your sister and your mother.” Peeta took the precious bread and packed it carefully into a paper bag.

“It’s too much!” said Katniss in frustration.

“It’s not too much.  I scared away the game!  You said it yourself,” Peeta said with equal vehemence.

“I can’t.” Katniss stood up suddenly, pushing the empty dishes and cheese buns away from her.  “You’re worried about game and buns but who should repay you for saving my life?”

“I don’t understand…” said Peeta, genuinely confused.

“I remember…about the bread.  That day, when you tossed me the bread.” Katniss made her way to the door. “I shouldn’t be here for a million reasons but most of all because I will never be able to repay what you did that day!”

“Is that why you’re here?  Because you want to pay me back?”

“No, it’s because I can never pay you back that I shouldn’t be here.  Just let me go.”

“Were you really that close to…?” Peeta couldn’t finish the sentence.

“I hadn’t eaten in days, Peeta.  I would have died.” Katniss said softly before scowling again.  “But that doesn’t change the fact that you need to stop being so reckless.  You’re going to get in trouble for talking to me or if your family finds out you fed me.”

“I honestly don’t care about my family or the government or anyone else, Katniss,” he said as he followed her to the door.  “And I’m not trying to even a score.  I…like you and just wanted to spend time with you.”

Katniss didn’t say anything.  His last words tumbled out of the open door as Katniss cast him a mournful look before escaping into the night.

XXXXX

 

The expression Katniss wore when she saw him the next day, standing at the very spot where she entered the woods, was almost comical.

“You’re starting to annoy me,” Katniss said, but her acerbic tone lacked real anger and Peeta could almost believe that she was pleased.

“You said I was persistent,” Peeta retorted with relief. This time, he’d had to dodge a crowd of miners heading down one of the paths near the Mining Office so he was sure that he’d miss her. Katniss turned towards the fence and he did not wait for her to invite him as he slipped through the fence behind her.

They walked companionably through the woods, Katniss in no real hurry to shoot anything.  Peeta took in the air and woods and he thought for a brief moment that they were a pair of birds that could take flight.  The image filled him with an intense joy at simply being alive and here in this place with Katniss.

After hiking for an hour, they arrived at what appeared to be a clearing but, upon closer inspection, was actually the slope leading to a small lake.  Peeta stopped, in awe of the place. He had never seen a lake before and he thought the beauty of its clear water and reedy banks would slay him completely. The lake was fed by a stream that flowed down from the mountain ranges above District 12, so that water was cool and fresh to the touch. Peeta loved beautiful things and he was very good at reproducing what he saw in drawings and paints.  He was sorry he had not thought to bring a sketchbook because he was sure this would have been the most perfect sketch he had ever made.

Perfection and beauty. He would associate that with Katniss also.

“How did you find this place?” asked Peeta when they sat down to rest along the lake bed.  Katniss pulled a small wooden cup from the pocket of her jacket and filled it with the running water from the entering stream.  She took a long drag, emptying the cup before rinsing it and passing it to Peeta.  He didn’t realize how thirsty he was and drained it with equal speed, handing it back to her as she refilled it again. They passed the cup back and forth a few more times before their thirst was satisfied.

“My father.  He taught me everything I know about the woods.  We’ve known about this lake for generations.  And not just this lake.  There is a larger lake further on beyond that valley.” She indicated with her head towards the deep green vein that split the low mountains just above the tree line.  “We only visited that lake every now and then because it takes almost a day to get to but it makes this one look like a pond.”

Peeta studied her as she spoke and enjoyed the way the light played patchwork games of shadows on her skin.  She was like a kaleidoscope springing to life as the sun danced amongst the leaves.  “What happened to your father?” he asked quietly.

Katniss pulled out an arrow from her sheath and sharpened the point with a stone.  “He died in that big mining explosion seven years ago.”

“I remember that.” It had been epic – the explosion took out half the mine and buried 40 miners in its cavernous depths.  It was the largest mining accident to take place in the last twenty years.   “I’m sorry.”

“Well, it wouldn’t have been so bad, I think, but my mother was estranged from her family because she married below her caste, you know?  She was a Merchant and my dad was a Laborer.  Even though it isn’t technically illegal, my mother’s father disowned her.  When my father died, we were on our own.  That’s how we ended up in the Seam,” she scowled angrily.  She didn’t have to say it but that was how she became one of the unwanted in their society.

They sat quietly for a long while, each lost in their respective thoughts.  Peeta didn’t think Katniss would speak again - she had broken a kind of record in the number of things she had shared and,while he wanted her to speak to him, he did not want to mishandle this moment.

“My mother became very sad after my father died and had a hard time taking care of us.” Katniss said this as if it were a dirty secret but instead of embarrassment, Peeta had to physically keep himself from putting his arms around her. “Still, my mother taught us how to count and read well. She also taught us to use plants to heal.  She even taught us how to set a table and eat with manners,”  she scowled still more deeply.

Peeta captured her meaning without having to be told. She was upset because she was in a situation, not because of her worth but because she had the misfortune of being born in the wrong social class.

Katniss suddenly looked up at Peeta.  “Have you ever seen my sister?”

Peeta shook his head.  “If I did, I probably didn’t recognize her.”

Katniss’ face softened. “Prim is beautiful.  She’s very sweet and a great healer, better than my mother.  And she has such a good heart.  I tried to teach her how to hunt but she just couldn’t stand to watch the animal die.  She is so much better than anyone I know and yet she’s trapped.  She’ll never have a full life.”

Peeta could think of nothing to say to this.  It was the way things were in their land.  Caste was destiny and they were all trapped.  There was no real freedom except the one he felt at that moment, sitting on that rocky outcropping, the whisper of winds and breezes ruffling through his hair, birds and insects calling at their backs.  

“I’d be an artist, a painter maybe, if I weren’t here,” whispered Peeta.  Katniss tilted her head to look at him and gave him a small smile, her eyes full of compassion.

Without thinking, Peeta reached out his fingers to brush Katniss’, in solidarity and comfort.  He was surprised when she quickly captured his hand and threaded her fingers through his.  She turned her face to observe the emerald-green foliage of the late spring forest as he stared at her profile, wondering how he had lived without this kind of beauty for so long.  They sat in this way for a long while, taking in the peace of the forest that knew no boundaries or social class before returning quietly back to the fence.

“I’ll be back here tomorrow,” said Katniss in parting before running off towards her section of the Seam.  Peeta simply stood, watching her receding figure with perhaps the happiest smile he’d ever worn in his life.

 

XXXXX

 

They met as often as they could at the edge of the fence.  Sometimes it was difficult, because of the bakery or Katniss’ mother and sister.  They sometimes needed help with patients, as they were the only healers that other very poor Untouchables and Laborers could afford.  The town physician, Dr. Abernathy, was too far out of their reach.  Katniss and Peeta devised a system to alert each other if they were free to meet that day - Katniss wore a green sprig of white fir or some other evergreen on her lapel when she came to the back of the bakery and Peeta sported the orange ribbon tied like a bow over the strap of his apron. His brothers made fun of his decoration but he simply explained that it was for good luck, which only brought on more teasing.

One day at the lake, Katniss took Peeta by the hand and showed him her secret place

“My father used to bring me here when we came to fish,” she explained as they walked directly into a tangle of brush.  Peeta wondered what could be hiding in that thick bramble of thorns and vines but Katniss knew her way.  After walking for a few hundred feet, they came upon an old, somewhat decrepit one-room cabin, buried in a copse of dense trees.  Inside was a small hearth filled with dried leaves and other detritus.  The table and bench had been built directly into the wall. On the far side of the room was an elevated frame to place a mat or a bed.  

“I haven’t been here in a while, ever since Gale started working in the mines,” said Katniss quietly. Though Gale was technically of the same caste as Katniss, he was young and strong so he had found a place working in the mines.  There was always room for more able-bodied men and it was one of the very few professions an Untouchable could work.

Peeta stood in the middle of that humble building, taking in the small windows, the dusty spiderwebs, and the musky smell of earth while an unfamiliar feeling crept over him.  He suddenly felt awkward and vaguely miserable.  “Are you and Gale...you know…a couple?”

Katniss’ eyes went wide.  “No!  He’s like a brother to me.  I don’t have those feelings for him.”

“Oh, okay, I was just curious.  I don’t want to get a beating or anything,” he trailed off, feeling like an idiot.

Katniss said nothing, but her eyes, already dark from the dim light, became almost black with an intensity that filled Peeta with a strange expectation.  

“I wouldn’t let anyone beat you,” she said quietly.  She stepped towards him, wrapped her arms around his waist, and melted into him.  She trembled slightly, the reverberation of her body spreading like ripples from a pebble cast across a lake.   Peeta did not waste any time responding in kind, pulling her slender body against his.   When she leaned back slightly to look up at him, he saw her undisguised need, her open vulnerability before him.  He brought his lips down to kiss her, a lingering pressure against the soft skin that felt like he was sinking into a cloud.

When he pulled back, he studied her face for a reaction.  She stared back unabashedly, in a way she never did when they spoke, her mouth falling slightly open.  When Peeta kissed her again, he tasted all the things he had associated with her - spring and beauty and the forest and freedom - and memorized the flavors until he was drunk with her.  The passion between them built as their kiss deepened. They explored each other in awe of the newness of being so close.

After they broke apart breathlessly, they twined their hands together as they explored the cabin.  Katniss refused to let Peeta’s hand go even while they walked back to the opening of the fence, releasing it only when they were forced to go their separate ways.  What had once signified the boundary between the civilized and the savage now became the portal to their own little freedom, where only the ageless forest bore witness to a crime as splendid and perfect as the woods that protected it.

 


	2. Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss and Peeta live in a Panem that classifies its citizens by Castes, forever dividing people from each other. But the heart knows no boundaries.
> 
> Written for Prompts in Panem Day 5 - Blue

 

Katniss looked around her at the sea of backs turned towards her and Peeta.  The crisp, newly fallen snow was splattered with Peeta’s blood, the wind howling over the droplets, making the snow clump together into the shape of red-black rubies.  Her heart pounded with panic when she thought that it all belonged to Peeta and slowly, the realization of their condition made itself apparent to her.  They’d been cast out and no one, under penalty of death, could help them.  

“Peeta, please,” she murmured close to his ear.  “We have to go now.  You have to get up.” She pushed the hysteria away with a conscious effort when his only response was an incomprehensible moan.  His back was in tatters - rivulets of blood and strips of skin made sickening crisscross designs along his back. Her hysteria quickly turned to rage at Thread’s cruelty and she resisted the urge to bury a rock in his head.  She focused instead on Peeta and getting him to his feet.

“Come on!  Move!  Please,” she begged.  The exile was a painful blow. Already, Katniss was shielding herself from the thought that she would not see her sister again, for fear that she would lose her mind.   _Later,_ she thought. She could fall apart later.

She looked at Peeta and his efforts to do as she asked, to get his legs underneath him and felt another wave of panic overtake her.  Her Peeta, who loved her mindlessly, completely, who was willing to risk the ire of his family and his community to be with her, had taken a beating for her.  The thought that she couldn’t get him to where they needed to go, that something more could happen to him made her want to claw at her own skin.

Instead, she concentrated on what was in front of her. She cajoled him with loving words, and then with threats, told him that if he died, she would die right along with him.

“Is that what you want?” she said desperately.

Peeta didn’t speak but simply shook his head, even that small motion clearly causing him pain.  With a monumental effort, he steadied his legs and they made their way out of the square toward the main gates of District 12.  Commander Thread waited together with his Peacekeepers, who lined the path towards the forest.  They made slow progress because Peeta stumbled often, each step causing him excruciating pain. She knew they had left the safety of District 12 when they heard the giant gates roll back into place, slamming shut behind them with cold determination.

Katniss understood solitude. She had experienced loneliness. But there was an aloneness to their condition that she had never known in her life until that moment.  She saw the snow-covered forest, once her refuge and the source of her safety, now a menacing monolith that stretched like a sea of terrors before her.  For the first time in her life, she feared it.  What was once the inviting green of her second home was now smothered in murderous white, her precious trees and plants covered in cannibalistic frost and ice.  These woods had saved her over and over again, yet now they promised to take back everything they had given her and more.  Peeta stood broken beside her and it now became her mission to save him at all costs.

**XXXXX**

**_6 months earlier_ **

**XXXXX**

Spring was Katniss’ favorite time of year.  The forest was more fragrant than at any other time. True, each season had its distinct aroma - the metallic moisture of snow, the decayed musk of autumn and the sharp heat of a summer’s day. But spring brought everything else - the fresh, blooming flowers, the trill of new birds, an abundance of herbs and game - the wealth of things that kept her family alive.  

This morning she was awake before dawn.  She looked over at her little sister, who fell asleep in her bed last night. Prim was everything that was light and beautiful in her life - her golden yellow hair that was at the moment a messy braid, her light blue eyes that were as gentle as her character.  Prim was empathy and kindness and all the things Katniss sometimes could not find in herself.  This was fine for her, because if Katniss had to be hardened steel so that her sister could preserve those fine qualities, she would be that person.

Prim mostly slept with their mother, clinging to the slight older woman’s frame, a figure who had once been considered beautiful and girlish but now was simply unremarkable.  Father’s death had sucked all the life out of her mother, like a twister in the plains, and left a hollowed out woman that occasionally forgot she still inhabited the world of the living.  Her initial depression after that fateful explosion was so crippling, Katniss was forced to become the provider for the family.  Though her mother was much better now and able to contribute to their collective care, Katniss still resented her abandonment and directed most of her attention to Prim.

“Katniss?” she turned over, her large blue eyes blinking blearily, attempting to adjust to the slowly rising sun.

“Hey, little duck,” she whispered quietly.

“It’s early,” she moaned, burrowing into her pillows.

“I know. I’ll be back later.” Katniss smoothed her hair back from her forehead.

“You’re always gone so long,” Prim said sleepily. Suddenly, Katniss became nervous, as if her secret could be read in her face.

“I have to go out a ways so I don’t get caught,” she lied.

“Are there more Peacekeepers now on patrol?” she mumbled.

Katniss sighed. Getting caught sneaking out of District 12, whether to hunt or to meet Peeta, would be an unmitigated disaster.  “No more than usual.  Don’t worry about me.  I’ve been doing this for so long – there’s no reason for me to get caught now, right?”

Prim opened her eyes again and Katniss was sure her lie would be discovered. “Is there something going on with you?  You’ve been acting really strange lately.”

Katniss was so very tempted to let Prim into her confidence, to tell her that something wonderful had happened, something at once amazing and terrifying that she had no words for.  It had insinuated itself inside of her heart, without which she would no longer be happy.

“If you need to talk, I understand a lot more than what you give me credit for,” she continued when Katniss did not answer right away.  “You can tell me anything.”

 _No, I can’t, little duck. Because if I tell you, you would be worried sick about me or worse, you would try to discourage me. And though I would need to be scolded for being so stupid, for your good as well as mine, I’m too selfish to stop._ “I’ll keep that in mind,” Katniss said with a false smile. “I’ll see you later.”

Prim turned her face back into the pillow to resume sleeping.  “Just remember what I said.”

Katniss didn’t say anything further before she was out the door and underway.

**XXXXX**

The sun was rising in the sky by the time Katniss made her way to the fence.  She didn’t want to waste a moment with Peeta so she was taken by surprise by her best friend and one-time hunting partner, Gale Hawthorne.  Ever since he started working in the mines, they barely saw each other anymore. He wore his mining uniform at the moment and, given the hour of the day, she was sure he was on his way to work. She was so happy to see him, she threw herself into his arms, forgetting for the moment the various complications of her life.

“Catnip!” he laughed, trying to stay upright as she slammed into him.  “Where are you off to?”

“Hunting, something you hardly ever do anymore,” she groused.

“Oh, I’ve been out a few times. You'd be surprised at what you see in the woods.” Gale’s face became serious.

Katniss’ stomach fell to her feet. “What are you trying to say?”

Gale gave her a long, hard stare, the kind that made her feel like he could see right through to her deepest thoughts.  Looking around him. “Listen, can you do me a favor?”

Katniss became worried. She knew him too well.  “What is it?

“Can you be careful?  You’re not just getting game out there and you could get into a whole heap of trouble if you get caught.”

Katniss felt the blood drain from her face and made to protest but Gale stopped her.  “Hey, I’m not going to sell you out. You’re secret’s safe with me. You know how I feel about this whole stinkin’ system.” Gale leaned into Katniss’ ear.  “You’re not the only one in that predicament. But blood laws are no joke. The Capitol prefers murder to mixing blood. You got that?”

Katniss felt terror unfurling in her stomach. She thought of Peeta, Prim, her mother, even Gale himself - and how catastrophic it would be for all of them if the authorities caught on to her rendezvous. And yet she did not know if she possess the means any longer to be without Peeta. Her thinking was interrupted by the mining whistles.  

“I have to go but think about what I’m telling you.” He squeezed her to him before releasing her to hurry off to work.

**XXXXX**

Katniss found Peeta sitting outside the cabin, sketching on his pad.  She shook off the unease of her conversation with Gale in her anticipation of being with Peeta. She treaded silently so he didn’t notice right away when she’d arrived. He had learned the way to their secret place and sometimes visited the cabin on his own to draw or sketch but mostly, he came to be with Katniss.  He lifted his head upon her approach, a brilliant smile lighting up his face.   Katniss was so bedazzled by his sincere happiness at seeing her, she forgot the rudimentary mechanics of how to walk and stumbled over a branch.

Peeta set his sketch book aside and stood when she was before him. She studied his features, even though it had only been a few days since they’d seen each other.  Without a word of greeting, she stood on her tip-toes and placed a chaste but lingering kiss on his lips, which he responded to right away by scooping her up in his strong arms and pulling her to him.  His mouth was achingly warm and soft and she loved the things he could do with it – the way his lips gave way so easily to the slightest pressure from her as they did now, the heat they brought when they rested on her neck and shoulders.  They tasted unmistakably like him and she knew, because she had done it before, that she could kiss him for hours on end.

When they’d kissed to the point of breathlessness, Katniss made to take his hand when it became apparent that exhaustion tugged at the corners of his eyes.  Katniss furrowed her brow in concern.

“Didn’t you sleep?” she asked, touching his cheek with the tips of her fingers.

“Yeah.  I was just up earlier than usual.” His smile widened and Katniss sensed that there was something he was keeping from her.

“And why would you be up any earlier than usual today?”

Peeta gave her another sly smile and tugged on her hands.  “You’ll see soon enough.  Close your eyes.”

“Peeta…” said Katniss in warning. “I don’t like surprises.”

“You’ll like this one. Come on.” He took her hand before the threshold of the cabin.  “Eyes, please…”

“Alright!” said Katniss impatiently but already giddy with excitement. She would never in her life have described any of her moods as giddy but here she was, as silly as a merchant schoolgirl.

She heard Peeta open the door and allowed him to pull her inside.  The smell was the first thing that assaulted her and she grinned like an idiot.  “Cheese buns…” she whispered.

“Open your eyes,” he whispered nervously.  Katniss blinked several times, not because she couldn’t see but because she couldn’t believe her eyes.

 

“I know it’s not much to look at but it’s better than it was before,” Peeta said when she remained speechless for several long moments. The broken down little cabin had been transformed by Peeta. The walls and floor were the same but it was cleaner.  He had apparently scrubbed and polished all the wood, from the rafters down to the benches.  He’d also removed the ash from the hearth and the cobwebs from the corners. The table was covered with an emerald green cloth and in the middle sat a small, chipped vase decorated with painted wildflowers, including several yellow dandelions and some that had already turned fluffy white.

The frame that had been built and elevated as a kind of bed was covered with a makeshift pad of old blankets and two worn throw cushions that served as pillows.  The duvet was a tacky bright orange, blue, and green confection that, under normal circumstances, would have made Katniss wrinkle her nose.  Now, it became one of the most precious things she possessed simply because it was connected to Peeta.  The small window above the bed and table were covered with material the same colors as the duvet but also somewhat worn and frayed. It was clear it was a discarded set that Peeta had made good use of.

Katniss was moved by it and felt an involuntary tear slip out the corner of her eye. She tried to hide it but Peeta had already caught sight of it.

“Hey!  This was supposed to make you happy!  Not cry,” he said, wiping the rebellious tear drop from her cheek.

Katniss gave him a watery smile. She hated to cry but her throat was filled with the salty heat of unshed tears.  “It does make me happy.  No one…” she took a ragged breath, “no one has ever done something like this for me.”

“I’ll do these things for you, as much as you want me to, for as long as you’ll let me stay.”  Peeta engulfed her in his arms and Katniss melted into their sturdy safety. She had never felt as safe as she did with Peeta and it made their predicament even more painful to her.  

“You could just stay...always…” she whispered in his ear, her nose getting lost in his curly blond hair.

Katniss felt him nod and say, “Okay,” as his lips ghosted over her neck and shoulders, making her shiver.  He left small kisses along her jaw until his mouth covered hers and he kissed her in that way that made Katniss weak in the knees.  She glanced at the bed he’d made for them and blushed with the images that came to her mind; a pool of warmth spread throughout her body. She smiled to herself, feeling as airy as the soft breeze that poked its way through the curtains.  She tugged Peeta over to the bed and sat on it, bouncing softly to test it.

“When did you do this?” she asked, holding his large hand, drawing designs on his open palm.

“I was up here a few days in a row. I figured you wouldn’t be out here since you said you’d be helping your mother.” He gave her a devilish grin that made her want to lick his mouth from one end to the other.

“You’re devious,” she said but her mind was befuddled by the way his mouth moved. Peeta watched her obvious fixation with the movement of his lips and closed the space between them, kissing her at first languidly, then with more passion until she responded to him, her lips falling open to receive him.  She ached instantly for him and pulled him towards her.  Lately, their kisses had become more and more heated and it was always more difficult to stop.

It was no different now as her hands moved of their own accord into his thick hair, over the rope of muscles that bunched in his shoulders and back.  Her hand slipped under his t-shirt to feel his skin there and the strumming rhythm of his heart beneath her fingertips.  Perhaps it was the season, where everything seemed so fresh and full of possibility, or the air that smelled of blooming trees and him, everywhere him, but Katniss wanted to feel him against her.

Peeta groaned into her mouth when her fingers grazed his nipples.  In response, he gripped her hips and pulled her to straddle over his lap.  Her boldness was rewarded when he yanked her shirt out of her pants and ran both hands, palm open, over her bare back, causing every muscle in her back to quiver in excitement.  Sitting as she was, she felt his hard erection and ground against him, the heat from her belly spreading like a wild-fire throughout her body.

Katniss felt reckless and bold on their – it had become their – bed, pulling off his shirt to shower kisses along his chest. They’d never gone this far before and she was suddenly in an undiscovered country of sensations that overwhelmed her and made her hungry for everything at once.  She stopped kissing him, breathing deeply to control herself and get her bearings.  Peeta, who understood her without her having to speak, closed his eyes and caught his breath also, holding her close to him.

Her fingers took on a life of their own and danced across his chest, a delicate minuet that would have tickled except that Peeta’s body was a live wire, taut with the tension of desire that had been long in building.  Katniss pushed him down onto the bed and let her fingers move down the valley between his chest muscles, catching the trail of hair that began at his chest, sloped down over his stomach, and continued still lower.  Katniss fumbled with the button of his trousers, his muscles trembling at every pass of her fingers over his skin.

Katniss leaned on her elbow, looking over at Peeta’s face, whose eyes were still closed.   She bent to kiss his lips gently and gave in to a primitive curiosity.  She removed her jacket, laying it gently on the floor behind her and pulled down the zipper of his pants, his erection tenting against the material of his underwear.  Peeta’s eyes flew open when she began to tug his pants over his thighs and seemed to be at war with himself, finally giving in and lifting his hips to help her move the pants along.  He groaned loudly when she gripped the length of him through his underwear, moving her hand over his hardness.  He bucked into her hand, watching her as she smoothed her hand over and over him, the tension of her gentle pleasure contorting his features.

Still, it wasn’t enough for Katniss and she gripped his underwear, rolling them down slowly so that his cock sprung to life. She had never seen an erection in her life and took in its appearance slowly, a part of her calculating its physical dimension, another, more primal part wanting to know it in all its aspects.  She took it in hand, which caused Peeta to hiss her name, his agony more pronounced.  She ran her hand over its silky smoothness, reveling in the contrast between its hard, rigid appearance and the unbearable softness of the skin.  She ran the back of her hand over it and felt herself become aroused from the feathery feeling of it on her skin.  Her fingertips skated over the smooth, mushroom-like tip, causing it to twitch.

“Hold me in your hand, Katniss.” Peeta begged, his breath short and labored.

She nodded, taking him gently and moving her hand up and down over the shaft.  She stroked gently at first, slow and languid but Peeta bucked again into her hand.

“Show me what you like,” she said quietly.  He placed his large, calloused hand over hers and moved them up and down, the grip much stronger than what she would have used for fear of hurting him.

“Come here,” he rasped and she lay next to him, her hand working over him with more confidence and determination.  He kissed her gently but could not follow through with more as his mouth fell open against hers, becoming slack with her increased speed.  Katniss looked down in time to watch him orgasm, his body arching and his semen exploding onto his belly.  She released him when he was done. He seemed to deflated against the bed, only the pearly white drops and his racing breath giving away his abandon.

“Thank you.” He held her against him and kissed her as he caught his breath.  Katniss took a handkerchief from her pocket and wiped him carefully before laying down next to him again.

“Mmm…” he smiled, recovering.  “It’s your turn, you know.”

Katniss froze.  “I…you don’t…”

“Yes,” he chuckled.  “I do..and I want to.”  He turned to her, pressing her onto her back. He kissed her, unbuttoning her shirt until her small, proud breasts lay exposed beneath his gaze. He stared at them hungrily and Katniss squirmed, resisting the urge to cover herself but when he kissed them, she forgot her shyness.  

“Katniss, you are so perfect,” he whispered as his lips worked over the tender, swollen flesh. She succumbed to the feeling of his warm lips closing over a hardened nipple, his tongue licking and coaxing the dusky tip to life. Katniss moaned loudly, the sound reverberating through her body.  Peeta lavished both with attention, from his mouth and his fingers until Katniss writhed in need beneath him.  

Katniss was so consumed by his mouth on her breasts that his fingers beneath the waistline of her underwear caught her by surprise.  She clenched her legs together but he gently coaxed them open again, his fingers resuming their trajectory until they were buried in her wetness.  Katniss took in a sharp breath when his fingers skirted the place that set her entire body alight.

“What do you like, Katniss?” he whispered.  “When you’re alone, where do you touch yourself?”

Katniss thought of the time she was tree climbing and she accidentally brushed herself there, her entire body reacting to the sensation.  She did it again out of curiosity and found that the pleasure was more acute.  At home that night, she searched for the place. When she found it, her instincts drove her to a moment of release so exquisite and intense, it frightened her. But she believed it was a trick of her body and never shared that information with anyone.

At that moment, Peeta was asking for her to hand over this secret. She hesitated before bringing his fingers down to that place and with the gentle pressure of hers over his, taught him what it would take to make her fall apart.  Peeta kissed her as his fingers followed Katniss’ lead, departing only to bury themselves in her folds before resuming their sweet torture.  Soon, too soon, Katniss’ body tightened like a bow string until, with Peeta’s hand between her legs and his mouth clamped on her breast, she burst open, her body vibrating from energy of her explosion.

“Peeta!” she cried out as her back arched from the intensity.

Peeta watched in awe as she gave herself over to those waves, her face contorted in such pleasure, he could not tear his eyes away from her.

When she’d ridden out those feelings and had come back down to earth, she lay limp and supple in Peeta’s arms. He had never found her so sensual and desirable at that moment, her body radiating her satiation.  He kissed her tenderly, raining small kisses on her face, neck and shoulders.  

“Are you okay?” he asked, smiling.

“Mmmm…” Katniss moaned in response.

He laughed. “I guess so.”

He got up out of bed, causing Katniss to whimper but only momentarily as she took in his entire physique.  Her body responded before her brain did to the broad muscles of his chest, the thick, solid buttocks and legs.  When he walked back towards her, she watched his stomach muscles flex and Katniss had the sudden urge to cover his entire skin with her mouth.

He returned with a thermos and his bag of now cooled cheese buns.

“What’s that?” Katniss asked, indicating the thermos as she sat up to rummage through the bag of cheese buns.

“Hot chocolate, of course.” He poured out a cup of the still warm liquid and handed it to her.  They ate quietly, savoring the flavor of the food and the warmth left over from their time together.  Katniss felt like she never wanted to leave that cabin again. She wanted to stay here, live off the forest and do what she’d just done with Peeta without having to hide her feelings for him. The idea that this little moment of perfection was just a parenthesis in a long life of rigid rules and deprivations made her sad.  It must have appeared on her face because suddenly, Peeta’s arms were around her, his eyes full of concern.

“What’s wrong?” he asked her, running his hand over her leg and hip.

“I just wish life was always like this,” Katniss murmured, resting her head against him.

“I would rather have this than not have you at all,” he said gently.  He pulled back and looked at her seriously. “We could just not go back.  We could live here, just the two of us.”

“No, Peeta. They’d look for us and drag us back. And my family needs me.  I can’t leave my sister.”

Peeta nodded and for the moment, there seemed no solution to their problem.  Instead, he removed the foodstuff and pushed her gently down onto the bed.  “We’ll come up with something. You’ll see. But for now, I’ll take kissing you the entire day, if you have no other plans.”

Katniss laughed, dispelling the hopelessness.  “You have me for the entire day.” she said as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down close to her.

“I want to have you forever.  What do you think of that?  Would you allow it?” he said, his eyes suddenly very serious and Katniss knew he wasn’t joking.

“I would allow it.” she whispered with equal seriousness, _if it were possible_ , she added to herself before kissing him as if their very lives depended on it.  

**XXXXXX**

Before departing, Peeta warned her that their family bakery would be entering into a very busy period and he would find it difficult for them to meet.  This was the wedding season so they would be frosting cakes and desserts in addition to their regular work.

Katniss accepted this but it turned out to be harder than she thought not to see him.   He was needed in his parent’s shop and though they tried to coordinate visits to the cabin, it was difficult for him to get out more than once every week or so. Katniss compensated somewhat with the increased game and visits to her regular customers to trade what she caught. At the very least, she had the opportunity to see him, if only from afar, when she arrived at the back door of the bakery.

This became almost unbearable to Katniss, who felt her claim on Peeta’s love was greater than their society’s claim on their position. She walked the town and saw him on his excursions and could not touch him, not even speak to him and it fueled a blaze of anger within her.  She felt his eyes on her, sensed the vibrating connection to him across the space of the square, the town, of time itself but she had to feign indifference and it wore her down.

One balmy summer day, Katniss arrived with her compliment of squirrel and wild turkey and found Peeta alone in the back room. It had been three weeks since they’d seen each other. As soon as she raised her hand to knock on the door, it flew open and a pair of powerful hands pulled her inside.  Katniss almost yelled but the sound was cut-off by Peeta’s mouth, which descended on her with a bruising force.  He had taken her by surprise but she quickly caught on and wrapped herself around him, arms, legs and all and kissed him with the fury of their separation.  Peeta stumbled when Katniss launched herself at him but pressed her up against the counter for leverage.

“Shit, I’ve missed you…” he said between kisses as his lips dragged a wet trail down over her neck, his nose nuzzling into the V of her button-down shirt.

Katniss couldn’t breathe, couldn’t even think to respond, for the sensation of his roaming mouth robbed all coherence from her mind.  She could only hold on to his golden curls as his hands cupped her bottom, pulling her closer to his waiting erection.

“Peeta!” she gasped as he ground into her.  “Dammit!  Somebody’s going to catch us!”

“I need to see you.  I’m back to the late shift tomorrow. Can we meet?” he said hungrily, his chest heaving with excitement.

“I…ah…” she faltered as he leaned her back and began to rub that magic spot at the apex of her thighs, the one that made everything that mattered disappear until all that was left was her heat.  He didn’t stop and catching her reaction, pressed harder, making circles over the fabric of her trousers with his thumb. She swiped his hands away when he undid her zipper, but only half-heartedly.  Soon her pants and underwear were down around her ankles and his fingers were dancing between her folds, his thumbs making designs on her that made her legs shudder in response.

“Fuck, Katniss, you’re so hot…” he hissed as she dropped her head back, her pants dangling awkwardly as he brought her quickly to orgasm.  She had to bite his shoulder to keep the sound from escaping her lips and he held her tightly so that she would not collapse into a quivering pile on the floor.

“What was that for?” she quipped drowsily, his arms a small piece of paradise.

“Meet me after tomorrow.  I have to see you.” he said as he carefully pulled up her pants, covering her for fear she would be discovered on the baking counter with nothing on and then took her in his arms.  She could feel his erection press into her and made to touch him, to perhaps return the favor when a large clattering sound just beyond the corridor caused them to jump apart.  It was soon followed by the opening of the door and Mr. Mellark appearing with an armful of cooking pans.

“Peeta, get these, will you?” he said as he struggled to set down the precarious pile without dropping them again.  Glancing at Katniss, he gave her his usual smile.  “Hello, Katniss. What have you got for me today?”

Katniss shook herself from the afterglow of her climax and proceeded to complete the trade. Peeta stared at her from behind his father, speaking to her with his eyes.  He wanted her to give some acquiescence, perhaps, that they would meet but the only signal Katniss could offer in the presence of his father was a quick nod.  He seemed to understand because his face broke into a happy grin that accompanied her as she left the building.

**XXXXX**

Katniss completed her trades to good advantage, having acquired all the things she needed plus a gold coin besides.  As she made her way from the alley to the road that led to the seam, she caught site of Peeta walking alongside his father.  Even though she had just seen him, it was not nearly enough to satiate her need for him.  It was never enough.  Katniss knew she was being reckless but she followed the pair in parallel from across the square, willing Peeta to glance her way.

Katniss could not stand it and stared openly at him with longing and was pleasantly surprised when his eyes fell on her.  He returned her gaze with eyes that spoke of his own need and for a moment, there was no one in the square except for the two of them.  Katniss wanted to tell him how she dreamed of him every night, that she wanted to learn more about the things they could do with each other, not just their bodies. She indeed could tie her life up with his if they could only find a way and she longed to send those thoughts directly to him.

Katniss and Peeta were so caught up in their silent communication that Katniss did not see the Peacekeepers until they suddenly blocked her view of Peeta with the frigid white of their uniforms.   _Roaches_ , she thought angrily, referring to the nickname given Peacekeepers by Seam residents because of the insect-looking helmets they wore.  One was short but muscular, his eyes covered by his visor while the second one was a taller, thicker brute whose brown eyes lasciviously roamed over her body.

“Look at this Seam scum, Brutus,” the shorter Peacekeeper said to the tall, burly one of the perverse stare.

Katniss knew better than to provoke them.  It was rumored in the Seam that some Peacekeepers trumped up charges on the Seam girls especially so they could “negotiate” the penalty, usually resulting in the girl having to appease one Peacekeeper or more to keep from getting flogged.

“Kinda far from home. You don’t have a place here in the market, stinking up the fine people of Panem with your rot,” hissed the shorter Peacekeeper.  “I could just arrest you.”

Katniss took a deep, shaky breath.  She was about to speak, maybe ask for the flogging instead when a deep voice came from behind them.

“She was cleaning out the back alley of the bakery.  I gave her permission to be here.”

Everyone turned to watch Mr. Mellark as he spoke, a tense Peeta clenching his fists at his sides.

“She shouldn’t be in the open market if that’s what she’s doing,” said the one called Brutus.

Mr. Mellark’s face broke into an easy grin.  “I’ll give her better instructions next time.” Turning towards Katniss, he said “Go on home now, Katniss.  You did a good job today.”

Katniss nodded her head, utterly confused as to what had just taken place but not questioning her good fortune.  She glanced at a stricken Peeta before walking as quickly as possible back to her home.

**XXXXX**

Peeta was a bundle of frenetic energy when they met at the cabin the next day.  He scooped Katniss up into his arms and kissed her breathlessly, catching her completely by surprise. The desperation of his kiss alarmed her and she quickly pulled away.

“What is it?  What’s wrong?” she said in alarm.

Peeta breathed heavily, as if he was trying to keep his lungs from running off without him.  He stared at Katniss with serious eyes. “We need to run away.  Live in the forest.”

Katniss gave a small, sad shake of her head. “We’ve talked about this before. My family needs me, Peeta. I can’t leave them.”

“We could bring them with us,” he said. “My parents want me to get married soon and I...I won’t, Katniss.  I can’t be with anyone else.”

“What are you talking about?” she said, stepping back as if he was about to deliver a blow.

“Nothing,” he said, trying to pull her back into his arms.

“Tell me,” she said firmly.

Peeta took a deep breath. “My parents want me to start thinking about getting married. They’re looking at different families and arranging for me to meet their daughters.  Right now, they’re sorting out Rye and they already have a broker from when they arranged Bannock’s marriage…” Peeta said these things almost desperately.  “But I can’t do it.  There’s only one person for me.”

Katniss dropped her arms and walked away from him, the movement helping her clear her mind.  Arranged marriages were very common in Panem and it should not have surprised her that Peeta’s parents would want to arrange for all their sons to marry as advantageously as possible.

A sudden realization hit her.

“Your father knows about us,” she said quietly.

Peeta visibly deflated. “I think so.  He may have known for a while.”

“That’s why he helped me yesterday.  That’s why he’s trying to marry you off,” Katniss said in a monotone, tears threatening to strangle her.

And yet, she could see his father’s point of view. The situation between Peeta and Katniss was truly absurd.  But she was selfish and she had grown to need Peeta. He was the bright spark in the darkness of her days. But what was she offering him?  What did he gain from risking his well-being each day he spent with her?

“Peeta, maybe this thing between us isn’t good for you,” she whispered sadly.  “You deserve a good life.  You deserve to get married and have lots of children…”

Peeta interrupted her angrily.  “Don’t go talking like that. I don’t want to have a ‘good’ life with anyone else but you.”

Katniss whirled around, her frustration welling up inside of her like boiling water. “Can we just stop this?  Can we just stop pretending we have something that we don’t have?  Everything between us, every minute, is stolen time that we’ll have to give back eventually.  There’s no future for us, no escape.  This is all we have, Peeta!” Her words loosened the tears that she had been holding back.  

Peeta closed the space between them in two strides and put his hands on both sides of her head.  “I refuse to believe that. I refuse to believe that I can’t be with you if that’s what we both want.”

“I won’t let you!  Your family will cast you out.  This District will cast you out!  And then what will you do? You’ll become like me, like my sister and mother.  Your future will be one long struggle for survival. I won’t be responsible for that.  I want you to get married and have children and have a normal life.”

Katniss tried to pull away but Peeta held her in place.  “It’s not your choice.  You don’t get to tell me to go love somebody else.  I love only you.” He pulled her in and kissed her, a savage kiss that stood for his resolve to be with her at all costs.  Katniss tried to pull away, to reason with him but he held on with desperate tenacity and slowly, she gave in to him.  

Peeta released her head but let his hands roam boldly over her body. “The only thing that can change my mind is if you don’t love me in return.”  Katniss’ breath came in short bursts as his hands marked the boundaries of her body, traversing every plane and valley, claiming it all for his own.  Katniss felt a heady rush of heat explode beneath her skin as if something was fighting its way out.  She whimpered against his mouth when he pulled her flush against him and she felt the hard evidence of his need for her.  She ground her hips into his rigid member, causing him to gasp in surprise.

“Katniss…tell me you don’t love me and I'll go,” he groaned as his hands gripped her hips and pulled her towards him.  

“I can’t tell you that,” she said with breathless desperation.  “I’m so sorry.” She captured his mouth, kissing him with equal brutality and greedily continued grinding into him. Her hands found the hem of his t-shirt and slipped underneath to feel the hard coils of his back muscles.  Peeta hissed in pleasure as she ran her nails up and down his spine, raking a path over his skin, leaving her own brand of possession on him.  

Peeta pulled back, looking at Katniss with hooded eyes and a question hidden in their deep blue depths.  “Say it,” he begged.

Katniss shook her head but he gripped her and pulled her within an inch of his face.  “Say it!” he hissed almost angrily.

“I love you,” she whispered, but she’d barely finished the last word when his mouth crashed down on hers.

They had kissed often and let their hands roam, discovering everything they could about pleasing each other but always stopping before they went beyond a certain point.  So when he released her swollen lips, his eyes boring into her, asking her permission, she gave it by removing her father’s jacket and setting it carefully on the back of the kitchen chair.  She unbuttoned her shirt and at that moment, she caught sight of the dandelions, as if they were waving at her from their watery place in the vase. Like that long ago day, when she went back to thank Peeta for the bread, Katniss began to feel hope.

Peeta watched hungrily as she let the oversized material fall off of her shoulders, his gaze causing her skin to prickle.  She wore one of her mother’s old bras, and though Katniss was ashamed of it, she was suddenly more ashamed of being naked, even though he’d seen her body before.  It was the same with her too large pants and her underwear beneath, which had a few small holes near the elastic.  Katniss suddenly lost her ardor and stood in timid offering, her desire only just enough to keep her from tearing the duvet from the bed and covering herself to her neck.

Katniss hadn’t realized she had crossed her arms before her, to shield her nervousness from him until he gently moved her arms out of the way and looked at, what to her, was a scrawny, unremarkable figure.  

“You are so beautiful, Katniss,” he whispered as he kissed her again, this time more gently before letting his lips run over her neck and shoulders, heating Katniss from the inside.  His large hands traveled over her hips and ribs, making goose bumps spring up over her skin like the blooming flowers in the meadow near the open fence.  Katniss shivered from the contact, to which he responded by leading her to the bed and pulling back the covers to let her slip underneath.  He then removed his pants, his arousal straining against the material of his underwear.  Katniss stared at the large bulge, remembering the feel of it in her hand.  She became excited by what would take place as he slid in next to her, the heat of his body warming the material of the bed, which smelled surprisingly of lavender soap and instantly calmed her.

He kissed her again, a long languid kiss before sliding his hands behind her back and unclasping her bra, removing it slowly as he watched her every reaction.  Katniss gasped when his fingers gently brushed along the sides of her breasts.  He lowered his head and kissed the small mounds gently, teasing the dusky peaks with his soft lips and warm tongue, the feeling so shockingly good, she didn’t want him to stop. It was connected to something deep within her belly, a feeling that crowded out fear and replaced it with desire.

He moved between both breasts, building that intensity that Katniss recognized.  She felt his thick fingers traversing her stomach and pause at the edge of the waistband.  Peeta lifted his head to look at her with another question in his eyes.  Katniss, who was under the spell of the sensations he created, nodded quickly.  His hands slipped inside and soon his fingers were lost in her wetness.  Katniss instinctively squeezed her legs shut, but Peeta’s reaction was to kiss her with more furor as he pushed her legs open.

“Let me take these off,” he murmured hoarsely.  In response, Katniss shimmied out of her underwear, laying completely exposed to him.  His fingers continued their dance along her most intimate place and Katniss melted with hopeless desire, especially when he began to apply the kind of pressure that made the coil in her belly spring to life.  He kissed her harder as her reaction spurred him on, making every nerve in her body vibrate to life.  She moaned against his mouth, her hands pulling and grasping him as if to find purchase.  Something inside of her shattered and she felt herself fall apart into a million pieces, her whole body one massive vibration. It was amazing, so annihilating that she trembled long after the waves had become calm.

Peeta removed his underwear and positioned himself between her legs. Katniss looked down to see his freed cock and took it gently in her hand, reveling in the feel of that unbelievably soft skin.  He groaned when her hands began to stroke him lightly, for Katniss was always afraid of hurting him.  They kissed as she continued her motion, running her thumb over the tip while her other hand stroked his sack.  He thrust in her hand and she became mindlessly aroused by the velvet feel of his cock. She shifted her hips and aligned him against her.

“I’ve never done this before,” he whispered, his brow furrowed as he pressed gently against her.

“Neither have I,” she responded breathlessly.  “Blind leading the blind?” she said, her chest heaving as he pressed unsuccessfully.

“We’ll figure it out.” He smiled and kissed her. He continued his slow thrusts until somehow, they did figure it out and he was inside of her, waiting for her to adjust to him.  She felt uncomfortably full and pinched, especially when he sank all the way into her.  Peeta’s body shook as he tried very hard not to hurt her but his instinct took over and he rocked into her, at first very slowly, until the furrow of discomfort disappeared from her brow, and then with the rhythm that would bring him to completion.  

“I’m sorry...I can’t…” he said apologetically as his body betrayed him, his release threatening to drown him and carry him away.

“Pull out!” gasped Katniss.  Peeta obeyed, his semen exploding onto her stomach, his face contorted in a grimace of pleasure.

“I’m so sorry,” he said as he rolled next to her in exhaustion. “I made a mess.”

Katniss pulled her underwear over her stomach and cleaned herself. “It’s okay,” she turned as he gathered her up in his arms.  “My mother’s a healer. She made sure that I knew a few things…though clearly, there are some things she left out.”

Peeta chuckled. “We managed. I just wanted it to be good for you.”

“It was,” she said into his chest.  The worry she felt before they made love threatened to overwhelm her again, especially when it dawned on her just how much she did not want to live without him.  “But it doesn’t make this any less crazy.”

“I don’t care if it’s crazy.” He shifted to look down at her.  

“If I wasn’t an outcast, it would be possible. But the law does not allow us to be together.  It’s a blood law. That’s how they keep Panem pure,” Katniss said.

“Panem is full of shitty laws,” Peeta answered darkly.  After a pause, he said, “We could keep meeting here.”

Katniss shook her head.  “Maybe, but it might not be safe for the long term. We’re too close to District 12.  We’d have to go further away, maybe to my father’s lake.  There’s no shelter there - and we’d be starting from scratch…”

Peeta’s eyes twinkled and his face broke into a happy grin.  “Are you actually considering this?”  

Katniss searched the ceiling, trying to order her thoughts.  “Maybe I can convince them.  I mean, what difference does it make if they are here or in the woods…?” But Katniss wasn’t able to finish her thought because Peeta let out a burst of laughter and pulled her to him, showering kisses down on her.  

“We can do this, Katniss. I swear.  Then we wouldn’t have to sneak around anymore.  We’d be free.”

“But won’t you miss your family?” said Katniss worriedly.

“Of course.  But Katniss, my family isn’t going to be of any help to me if I’m forced to marry someone I don’t love.  They won’t be enough to comfort me if I lose you.  It’s my choice.  I know what I’m giving up,” he said seriously.  “And I know for a fact they will not come with me.”

Katniss looked at him with pity.  “I can’t be sure of my family either but I can try to persuade them.  It’s different with me, though.  They’ll starve without me.”

Peeta nodded. “I understand.”

“And we would have to leave at the beginning of spring. The woods are rough in winter.  We have some time until then to maybe get a few supplies and sneak them out here.”  Katniss felt the excitement of their plan and it filled her with hope.  She looked towards the table and saw the dandelions in the vase and smiled.

“What is it?” Peeta asked.

“Those dandelions. Every time I am just about to give up on everything, they appear and hope follows right afterwards.”  Katniss turned to him. “When you tossed the bread, I came back the very next day to thank you.  Do you remember that? I think you saw me.”

“I did. I had no idea what you were doing because you came and then you left.”

“I saw that bruise your mother gave you and I got scared.  In the yard, there was a dandelion and I remembered my father teaching me that the entire flower could be eaten.  So I went home and got Prim and went directly to the meadow.  It was full of flowers!” Katniss softened at the memory.  “We picked buckets full of them and ate them with your bread.  That’s when I knew that I was going to survive.”  Katniss became emotional.  “Peeta, I was ready to give up everything today and let you go back home.  I would have made you go and marry some Merchant girl if I thought you’d be happy.”  She looked over at the flowers again.  “But there you go again, making me believe that we might have a chance…” she couldn’t finish her sentence as she scowled, trying to control her tears.

“Funny, here I thought you were my hope.  You make me better than I am -  braver, more willing to do the right thing, because I’m doing it for you,” he whispered as he pulled the tie from her messy braid, running his fingers through the locks until they lay against the throw pillow.

Katniss gave him one of her rare smiles, the ones she reserved for him and only when she was completely happy.  Without another word, she pulled him down and gave him a kiss that set every synapse in her body on fire and for a long while, there was no more talk of any kind.

**XXXXX**

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally outlined as a two-part fic, there is a third part that will be released for Day 7 – Black and White. Many thanks to my amazing betas, bubblegum1425 and peetabreadgirl. Also, thanks to nightlockinthecave for the gorgeous banner. You are amazing, ladies.
> 
> This fic is dedicated to madamemarquise, who requested an Everlark Canon AU without the Games and in response to the prompt “It would have happened anyway.” Thank you for the inspiration!


	3. Part III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss and Peeta live in a Panem that classifies its citizens by Castes, forever dividing people from each other. But the heart knows no boundaries.
> 
> Written for Prompts in Panem Day 7 – Black and White

 

 

Peeta was lost in a fog of pain so deep, he could barely hold onto where he was.  He sensed a warm fire was roaring before him.  He let his eyes drift to his left and saw Katniss curled in a ball at the very edge of the bed, wearing the same clothes she had on earlier.  He could tell from the even rise and fall of her breathing that she was asleep.  He wanted to pull her to him but even thinking about movement made everything ache.  

 

He reviewed the events that got him to this point.  He turned it over and over in his mind and realized that there was no way things could have gone differently because they had tempted fate too many times. His heart ached for Katniss most of all - how very alone she must feel in the world, cut-off from her family and he, insensible to anything but his pain and his thoughts.  He tried not to think too far into the future.  He needed to get better so that he would be in a better condition to take care of her.

 

**XXXXX**

 

**_Earlier that day_ **

 

**XXXXX**

 

Peeta had done his best to arrive before Katniss. The cold was stiff and unrelenting and he wanted to get a fire going to warm up the cabin before sunrise.  Once the sun was up, they would be forced to smother the hearth for fear of being seen.  The only exception to this strict rule they imposed on themselves was when there was snowfall, in which they lit the hearth, knowing it would be hidden by the swirling white snowflakes that danced across the land.  Some of those snowflakes would absorb the smoke from the chimney and become marred by the coal dust and ash.  These made Peeta unbelievably sad because those particular snowflakes looked corrupted, the black overwhelming the white to result in that dull grey color that spoke of sadness and isolation from the rest of the white winter world.

 

He shook himself. He was having the strangest thoughts lately and he had to stop doing that.   _Only a little while longer_ was his constant mantra.  There were things happening in wider Panem that alarmed him - shortages in supplies that they had always been able to acquire in abundance.  He and Katniss had managed to bring things out to the cabin in these last few months - objects that they thought they might need - a small ax, extra quilt, matches, metal cups, razors - but electronics, certain fabrics and seafood, of all things, were getting harder and harder to come by.  

 

Katniss had dried herbs stored away for different purposes. Peeta tried to tell her not to slave too much - there was only so much they could carry but Katniss insisted they could store things in their cabin and bring them up to the lake when they were needed.

 

She still hadn’t told Prim and her mother about her plans.  This was a source of argument lately between Katniss and Peeta. If her condition for leaving was to bring her sister and mother along, she had to tell them at some point but Katniss claimed it never seemed to be the right time to say anything.

 

“I’ll tell them when the time is right.” Katniss said.

 

“Are you waiting until we are packed up and ready to go to tell them?”

 

“No, but I want to wait a little more to give them less of a chance to change their minds.”

 

“Katniss!  They may need time to make up their minds!   It’s not fair to me, you know. What am I supposed to do if they don’t come. Do you just say “Oh, well, why don’t you go on your own and I’ll catch up later?”  Peeta said angrily.

 

But Katniss was as obstinate as a rock and insisted on taking her time.  And Peeta had to resign himself to the fact that she was operating with more knowledge about her family than him.  The truth was he couldn’t even give her an ultimatum because he would never be able to follow through with anything he threatened.  He was prepared to do anything for her so he had no other choice but to simply hope for the best.

 

The door of the cabin clicked open.  Katniss entered with her bow and arrows and a small bag of game.

 

“I caught a squirrel. We can roast it for later.” she said by way of greeting.  They did not keep food in the house for fear of animals invading the cabin when they were away.

 

Peeta pulled out the small pouches from his pocket and showed them to Katniss.

 

“Seeds?” she asked as she pressed the hard roundness between her fingers.

 

“Yeah. We always keep a garden at home and I’m good at it,” he said as she handed them back.  

 

Katniss nodded and sat down next to the fireplace to warm her feet.  “There are more Peacekeepers than ever before. There are actually more patrols in the Seam quarter,” said Katniss worriedly.  “Things don’t feel right.”

 

“Things were never right in Panem,” answered Peeta as he set out breakfast. He’d brought cupcakes that he’d frosted just yesterday evening.  

 

Katniss took the proffered dish with the cupcake and the cup of hot chocolate.  “Well, they’re a little bit less right than normal. I have such a bad feeling lately.  Just be careful, okay?”

 

Peeta chuckled. “I only ever break the law to come out and see about this one girl.”

 

Katniss shook her head.  “Really?  I hope she’s worth it.”

 

Peeta left a frosting covered kiss on Katniss’ lips.  “She’s worth everything to me.”

 

XXXXX

 

It was twilight when they returned from the cabin, much later than usual.  Well before the fence, Peeta pulled Katniss to him and kissed her, as if he had not kissed her a thousand times that very day.  Instead of the excitement she felt in the cabin, it was dread that made Katniss’ stomach curl, for she was terrified of letting Peeta’s hand go when they reached the fence.  The world had tilted on its side and she was sliding off the edge, searching the smooth surface for a way to hang on.

 

Anger had been building in her over the course of their year together.  She felt imposed upon by every single thing that surrounded her - the simpering passivity of the forest, the brutal cruelty of the regime, the stupid pageantry of the Capitol, the obsequiousness of the downtrodden population.  Katniss’ body still sang from her afternoon with Peeta, every cell lit up like the lamps that illuminated the center at night.  She was tired of withholding what was rightfully hers from the indifferent glare of reality.

 

Peeta was hers and she was his.  This contrivance of castes and Districts triggered such a black fury in her, she wanted to tear away the false boundaries between her people and scream at the top of her lungs, “He’s mine and you have no say in all of it!” But she knew it was suicide, that if they weren’t arrested and thrown out on their asses, they’d at least be beaten. And it was only the thought of her sister, starving and alone, that caused her to reach out for the last shred of her sanity and pull herself together again.  That and because the end was in sight.  

 

Peeta went through the fence first, waving happily to Katniss and made his way towards the bakery.  Katniss took a few moments to gather her wits about her but her thinking spun out of control.  It was a compulsive thought that tortured her over and over - how would she persuade her mother and sister to go away with her? She hadn’t told them about Peeta at all and he was right to be angry with her. She was trying his near infinite patience on this matter and she was ashamed of herself because of it.  He’d thrown his lot in with hers and he asked so little in return, it was about time that she did something to resolve the situation.

 

Katniss was imagining different ways to start the conversation with Prim and her mother, her state of distraction such that she did not see the two Peacekeepers until she was already ducking under the fence. There was no way to hide where she’d come from.

 

“What are you doing there!” barked one of the masked men angrily.

 

Katniss froze in terror.   _Shit!_  She’d been through this fence thousands of times - it was automatic for her to carefully examine her environment before entering the Seam.  She knew better than to barrel through the way she did. She’d relaxed her guard at precisely the wrong moment.

 

“Just curious,” she said shakily, trying not to sound too guilty.  Thankfully, she wasn’t carrying any game or she would have already been in the stocks.

 

“Curious, eh?” said the taller one. His voice was rough, a compliment to his burly size and the hulking manner in which he stood, with one hand on his electric baton.  He flipped his visor up and Katniss found herself being appraised by a cold pair of mud brown eyes.  She couldn’t help the shiver of disgust that raced over her skin as she recognized the Peacekeeper as the same one who had caught her in the square.

 

“We know the only thing you Seam girls are curious about,” he said lewdly, while the second Peacekeeper chuckled.

 

“Now, the way I see it, you can come with us and get a couple of lashes for being outside of the boundaries of the District, a violation of code C12.69.82 or,” he glanced over at his friend, giving him a knowing look, “you could come with us and persuade us to be a bit lenient, in which case we might just agree to wave your sentence completely.”

 

Katniss’ stomach clenched in fear but she wasn’t going to give these two _roaches_ the satisfaction of seeing her afraid. She was about to speak up and tell them she’d gladly take the flogging over their limp dicks any day of the week but a familiar voice interjected.

 

“Is “Go fuck yourselves” part of the menu of options? Because I believe that’s definitely something that should be put on the table.” Peeta’s voice was calm but hardly peaceful. There was a belligerence in his tone that made Katniss’ knees go weak.

 

“What’s it to you?  Do you know what the penalty is for interfering with law enforcement?” seethed the giant Peacekeeper.

 

“Well, I guess I have to pay the penalty because I’m interfering.” Peeta stood between Katniss and the Peacekeepers.

 

“Peeta, no...you’ll just make it worse.  Go home!” she hissed, trying to pull him back.

 

“Peeta Mellark?  You’re the baker’s boy?” said the shorter Peacekeeper.  “Listen, we’ll just forget that you opened your mouth if you turn around and go home. We have to take care of this Untouchable trash and you don’t need to get mixed up in it.  Just toss me an extra loaf next time we stop in.” He laughed at his own joke but Peeta’s eyes had shrunk down to two blue slits.

 

“She’s not trash,” hissed Peeta angrily.

 

“Well, what do you know?  Baker boy’s gettin’ a piece of that tight little ass,” said the Peacekeeper.  “Well, we don’t mind sharing, do we, Brutus?  You can have her back when we’re done.”  At this, he grabbed Katniss by the arm and yanked her towards him.

 

What happened next was so fast, even afterwards, Katniss had a hard time piecing together how it all fell apart, the moment when the road Katniss and Peeta walked became irreversible.  Peeta had suddenly tackled the Peacekeeper who had grabbed Katniss, until they were both a struggling heap on the ground, fists flying and the sickening sound of knuckles against flesh filling the air.  Katniss screamed and launched herself against Brutus, who had pulled out his electronic baton but the tip of the now buzzing instrument caught Katniss directly on her right side, sending a bolt of energy so powerful through her, she was sure she could smell herself being singed.  She went down in a fit of pain and could do nothing to help Peeta as Brutus sent a bolt into Peeta’s back, disabling him. The laughing Peacekeeper stood up and sent a kick into Peeta’s side, making him curl in agony.

 

“You stupid little shit!” growled Brutus, pulling Peeta up just enough to get the cuffs on him.  “You’re going down for this.  You should have just shut the fuck up and minded your own business.”  Katniss had suddenly been forgotten, Peeta’s crime of attacking a Peacekeeper having eclipsed her now meaningless excursion into the woods. She rolled onto her knees and managed to stand up from her crumpled position, her side on fire from the impact with the baton and followed the Peacekeepers as they dragged Peeta in the direction of the square.

 

Katniss could barely keep up but her heart almost fell out of her chest when she saw the commotion in the square.  A crowd began to gather as Commander Thread, who had been radioed, appeared with the flogging whip at the ready.  Katniss experienced a moment of madness and thought that the scene before her could not be real - all of it was a sick illusion dreamed up by her sleeping mind and she would soon wake to find it was all a nightmare.  But she was not dreaming, as the cruel voice of the commanding officer pierced the crowd.  

 

“For the crime of assaulting a Peacekeeper, Peeta Mellark is hereby sentenced to 20 lashes, effective immediately.”

 

Peeta was led to the flogging post, his hands untied long enough to remove his sweater and jacket before his cuffs were chained to the large metal links.  Katniss was horrified when she saw his strong, fair-skinned back covered in her scratch marks from earlier today, as if they had been a premonition of this moment.  Without thinking, Katniss ran out in the middle of the square between Peeta and Thread.  There was an audible gasp from the crowd as she tried to block the Commander from reaching Peeta’s body.

  
“Please, listen to me! He was provoked! He was trying to protect me.  Don’t hurt him!” she screamed, her tears blurring her vision.  

 

“Katniss, no!  It won’t change anything!” said Peeta.

 

“Get this one out of my way,” Thread said as he raised the whip over his head.  A Peacekeeper put his arms around Katniss and easily lifted her out of the way even though she struggled with all her strength.

 

“Stop, please!  He was just defending me!  He doesn’t deserve to be flogged! Please!” she continued, on the verge of hysteria.

 

Each time the whip fell, Katniss thought she felt it on her skin, burning away flesh and tissue.  Peeta was so very brave, taking his blows at first quietly but soon his courage gave way to grunts that in turn became moans of agony, interrupted only by Katniss’ sobs.  Katniss’ mother and sister fought their way to the front of the crowd and stared incomprehensibly at her.  

 

When Thread had delivered his last blow, the Peacekeeper was finally allowed to release Katniss.  She ran towards Peeta but was stopped by Commander Thread.

 

“Why would a Merchant take a beating for an Untouchable?” he said with a voice that sounded like a hissing snake.

 

Katniss stared at him with hatred but it did not deter him.  “It’s a crime for an Untouchable to have a relationship with anyone of another Caste.  That is how we protect our bloodlines from impurity.” He said this slowly and deliberately, as if she were too stupid to understand him.

 

Lifting her chin, Katniss said with a calm measure to rival his.  “There’s no crime in people loving each other.”

 

Thread licked his lips, repressing a sneer.  “Careful, scum. Let’s not add “inciting rebellion” to your list of crimes.”  He turned on his heel, freeing her to rush to Peeta’s aid as he pronounced his sentence:

_“For the crime of Blood Contamination from the illicit union of this Merchant with an Untouchable, we hereby condemn them both to the severest penalty under the law.  Henceforth, Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark will be banished from Panem.  Let no man, from this day forward, acknowledge their existence. Let no man lend them assistance. Let their names be erased from our ledgers for all of eternity.”_

 

Katniss felt lightheaded when she heard the sentence, though it was rage that focused her and fueled her actions.  She searched the crowd, for she’d heard her mother’s scream but even that was denied her, for all she saw were backs being turned to them, one after the other.  Her resolve hardened and she focused on her only objective at this point - get Peeta to safety.  There was nothing more she could do for her mother or sister.  As she half-carried, half-dragged Peeta to the forest, she released them like birds into the sky, for she was certain she would never see them again.

 

XXXXX

 

It took them three times as long as usual to get back to the cabin.  By the time Katniss could get Peeta on their bed, he was semi-conscious.  That’s when the hard work started - she had to set the wounds by softening the now dried skin, a process that was so tedious and painful for Peeta, she cried as she worked for the way she made him suffer.  To his credit, he stayed as still as he could and tried to obey her commands but he was in so much pain, he blacked out several times. She couldn’t put a snow coat on him yet, for she did not have the herbs necessary. She looked outside - the sun would be setting soon and they had very little food - nothing but the few items Peeta brought when he was decorating and stockpiling the house for her, _for her_ , as if she deserved them after her monumental stupidity.  

 

To keep from spiraling into depression, Katniss set about to collect snow and find branches that were dry enough to start a fire.  Her best bet was to forage high in the trees, where the ground snow would not have seeped in to make them irreversibly damp.  When she’d collected the wood, she found the tinderbox and set the hearth to blazing despite the time of day.  In Katniss’ opinion, she couldn’t imagine what more the authorities would want from them.  Surely they would have bet against the two of them surviving the night so their vigilance would be very low.  After a bit, the heat chased the deep chill out of their small cabin.  

 

Peeta whimpered quietly but Katniss was sure, despite his pain that he would probably sleep a bit.  She thought about her options - all the things she needed to make him feel better.  As the night wore on, she watched Peeta, evaluating his every breath, each moan, for fear that his injuries were more than she could treat.  

 

It wasn’t until the deep of night when Katniss finally allowed herself to grieve - for Gale, her mother, and her sister.  As much as she considered her life defective, there was so much she would miss. Though she had agreed to run away with Peeta, it had been a far-off objective that she had hoped she could prepare for.  As Peeta lay sprawled and delirious, she had never felt more alone in her life, even during the worst of her mother’s depression.  Laying at the very edge of the bed for fear she would touch Peeta and damage him further, she curled into herself and cried until she sank into grateful oblivion.

 

**XXXXX**

 

The banging on the door roused her, and for a moment, Katniss forgot everything that had taken place in the last twenty-four hours.  She lifted her head, expecting to see Prim burrowed beneath the quilt but it was Peeta, his exposed back an angry, swollen pink and red color, which brought her back to the present. When she had regained her wits, she crept quietly to the door, grabbing an iron used to stoke the hearth, the only item she could use for self-protection, as she had not stopped to fetch her bow and arrow.

 

She opened the door slowly, ready to impale whoever was on the other side.  So she was completely unprepared to see Gale standing on the threshold.  Without a thought, she dropped the iron and flung herself into his arms, her disbelief turning into childish joy when she found herself face to face with her best friend.

 

“What are you doing here?” she said, pulling him inside and locking the door.  She walked rapidly to the hearth and snuffed out the fire.

 

“You guys left a mess behind,” he groused as he set down a large sack.  “After your sentence was read, people were angry.  We, you know, mom and I, we took Prim and your mother home so they wouldn’t get caught up in all the protesting.”

 

“Protests?” asked Katniss.  

 

“Don’t worry, they didn’t last very long but people were pissed.”

 

Katniss couldn’t wrap her mind around why anyone would be upset that she and Peeta had been kicked out of District 12.  The only thing that worried her was her family. “How are they?” Katniss whispered, her heart in her throat.  

 

“How are any of us?  Katniss, nobody else had any idea about you and Peeta Mellark here.” He cast a glance at Peeta’s still sleeping form.  “How long were you guys, you know…?”

 

“A year, more or less.”

 

“You want to tell me what the hell you two did to get yourselves beaten and exiled?”

 

Katniss sighed and recounted all the events. Gale became angrier and angrier as he heard her tell it.

 

“I would have done the same thing.  Why didn’t you tell your mother about you and Peeta?”

 

“How was I going to tell her?  She wouldn’t have understood.”

 

“Your mother?  She married outside her caste, too.” Gale said this as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.  “I warned you about being careful.”

 

“My father wasn’t an Untouchable when they married! And I was planning on telling her and Prim.”  Katniss said this with great regret, for now she not only left them alone but undefended and likely with a heavy feeling of betrayal.  “And anyway, I didn’t think you approved.”

 

“Well, you could have asked Madge Undersee that. She would have told you if I approved or not,” he said somewhat sheepishly, running his hands through his hair. “Man, that’s a relief to be able to say that out loud.”

 

Katniss gave a wry smile. ”I guess I wasn’t the only one keeping secrets.” She took a deep breath, looking at the bag on the table. “What is this?”

 

“People showed up at your house to bring things. They figured we might be able to get stuff out to you.”

 

Katniss took out the items in the bag, almost faint with shock.  “Morphling?  Bread?  Tools?  Gale, who gave us all of this?  How did they not get caught by the Peacekeepers.”

 

“District 12 people are used to sneaking around. You didn’t exactly invent that.”  He began handing her the items from the bag.  “Peeta’s father brought bread and other baked goods.  Your mom sent herbs.  Dr. Abernathy brought morphling and antibiotics.  Madge brought some fruit teas.” He shook his head.  “Prim sent your plant book, said you would need it. Matches, water cannisters.  Greasy Sae even brought socks and a sweater for you guys.”  Gale shook his head.  “And these weren’t just Seam folks either. People were pissed, Catnip.  Thread should have known what was up between you two from the way you were acting in the square. Why exile you both on top of whipping Peeta?”

 

Katniss, in the meantime, was already pulling out a pestle and mortar from the bag, courtesy of her mother who knew she wouldn’t have anything to prepare a snow coat.  “It’s ironic.  We were planning on running away together anyway in the spring.  I would have tried to bring Mom and Prim.”

 

“I’ve thought about it too. Madge and I. But she has her own people and I have a village.” He chuckled sadly.  “I would have used this cabin as a halfway point also.”

 

A low moan came from the bed and Katniss hurried over to check Peeta.  He had been so good and hadn’t thrashed about so his skin was set.  But now that he was waking up, she feared he might reopen his wounds.

 

“Shhh, don’t move. I don’t want you to tear open your cuts.  Are you thirsty?”

 

Peeta opened one of his eyes slowly. “Yeah,” he said, the word barely a whisper from his lips.

 

Katniss got up to fetch the flask and poured water she had melted from the snow before she fell asleep.  Using the lid, she served him little sips of the water, which was difficult as he was laying face down and a good part of it ended up on the mattress.

 

“I can make you tea, if you like,” she whispered, touching his soft blond curls, which were matted in places with blood.

 

A large tear rolled out of Peeta’s eye and dripped onto the bed.  “It hurts, Katniss,” he moaned.  

 

He sounded so young and vulnerable, Katniss’ eyes filled with tears. “Wait, I have something for it.” She got up to fetch the morphling syringe.  She was usually the queasy one when it came to such things but it was Peeta and she couldn’t stand to see him suffer.  She sunk the needle into the skin of his back that was not ruined by the flogging and watched as his eyes drifted shut.  

 

“Catnip, you can’t stay here very long. It’s too cold and you can’t light the fire during the day. You can see it from District 12.”

 

“I know, though what would they care?  They threw us out.” Katniss scowled angrily at this.

 

“Yeah, but they don’t want people coming back and telling everyone that there aren’t any giant wild animals in the forest, that it’s possible to survive outside of the District. That would disrupt the entire system.”

 

“Well, it must be pretty fragile if a few exiles can bring the whole thing down.  Maybe that’s what we need - a rebellion.  You know, I almost got charged with inciting a rebellion, though I can’t imagine what more they could have done besides execute me.”

 

Gale’s looked at her in confusion. “Isn’t this a kind of death sentence? What exactly did you say?”

 

“I said that it was no crime to love people.” Katniss said this quietly, watching Peeta as he slept his pain away.  “I’m going outside to get snow.  I haven’t made tea for myself yet. Can I make you some, too?”

 

“Nah, I’ve already been here too long.  Look, don’t worry about your mother and Prim.  Mr. Mellark said he wouldn’t let them go without, which probably went over really well with the Witch.  And I’ll take care of them, too.  Your mother and sister are really respected in the Seam and I think after this, nobody is going to let anything happen to them.  I’m more worried about you two.”  

 

Katniss heart became heavy at the prospect of not seeing Gale and her family again. “Take care of them and I’ll worry about us.” She looked over to Peeta with pity. “We’re heading towards the big lake in the valley.  It’s a hike and I’d like to be able to stay here at least until Peeta is better.  I figure it’s far enough away from District 12 and it’s someplace I know.”

 

“Well just keep the smoke under control. Fuck, Catnip.” He pulled her into his arms. “I can come out and check on you but chances are they are going to be keeping an eye on the fence now.”

 

“How will you get back in?” said Katniss in a panic.

 

“I’ve got connections.” He held her close to him again. “Take care, okay? This is so fucked up.”

 

“The whole thing is fucked up. We might be the only ones who have it right, Gale.”  Katniss looked over at Peeta, now resting under the influence of the morphling.  “Be safe, and take care of mom and Prim. Please!” she said desperately.

 

“They’ll be fine. I can promise you that.”  He patted her cheek as if she were a child before heading out into the woods.  Katniss stared at the closed door long after it had been shut, hard pressed to say that final goodbye to her people in the face of an uncertain future.

 

**XXXXX**

 

It took Peeta a week just to be able to move without opening his wounds.  He relied on Katniss for everything - even to relieve himself.  If there were any barriers between them before, they were shattered during his convalescence.  There were times he found her crying in that period, her heart broken from missing her sister and her mother.  That was when Peeta hated himself the most.  He said that once to Katniss, who told him that she hated herself, too, but that they should absolve each other of any mistakes they had made because the flaw, in this case, was in the system, not in them.  This assuaged Peeta somewhat but it made him more committed to ensuring nothing else happened to Katniss.

 

Gale visited a few more times, to leave supplies and bring messages back and forth but the day arrived when he suddenly didn’t come anymore. That was about the time they decided to head to the valley. Katniss and Peeta had stayed longer in that home than they had anticipated, mostly because it was easy, safe and familiar.  When Katniss hunted, she made sure to go as far from the fence as humanly possible but she was so very tempted to walk up to it and check whether the opening was still there. She had the mad idea that she could slip in, speak to her family and then escape before anyone was the wiser.  But the one time she ventured close enough to implement her plan, she heard the low hum of electricity emanating from the fence. That’s when she knew that home would never be an option for her again. That night, she kept Peeta awake with endless nightmares.

 

Winter was soon waning, the iridescent snow melting into rivulets of water that fed the forest and gave it life anew.  This is when they decided to make the first journey to the valley.  It was a sad day, because that cabin had witnessed the birth of their love and had kept them warm and safe in the hardest moments of their lives.  Katniss found herself in tears as, she left it behind with Peeta.  Their heavy backpacks fixed on their shoulders.  

 

When they finally arrived, Peeta was awestruck by the size of the lake. He had never seen the ocean before but he imagined that, if he tugged the edges of the horizon a bit further, this lake would be a good representation of what the real sea looked like. There were mountains that dropped directly into the water to the east, while in the west, the forest rose gently from the shore like an exotic, green carpet.  Peeta was exhausted but more than anything, he was full of gratitude that, despite their experiences, nature had not disappointed them.  

 

It was mostly hardship in the beginning - it seemed they were always fighting the cold, hunger or general discomfort.  They had luckily found a cave that would do as a home until they could sort out something more permanent, something closer to the water. There were things they had to learn to do without, like new clothes or chocolate - Peeta really missed chocolate.  They learned to embrace solitude and portion out their time together in punctuated bursts of silence and communion, for they were together every moment of the day and had to adapt to not having a community to interact with.

 

But there were good times also - warm nights under the summer sky with only a fire to keep wild animals away and their bodies mimicking the constellations in the sky, moving and dancing around each other.  

 

During the day, they fished and swam in the lake, digging up shells left over from some ancient movement of water.  Katniss learned to skin animals and stretch deerskin.  Peeta learned to make cakes in a skillet and to clear land for a home and a garden. And they learned to place the people they missed in a small compartment in their heart and look at them only when they could bear the pain of their absence.

 

They built a one room cabin similar to the one they’d left behind.  This took months to complete because neither of them were engineers and had to rely on common sense and their passive knowledge of the houses in District 12.  It wasn’t truly complete until Katniss put up the green and orange curtains together with the matching bedspread and laid out the green table cloth.  She made squirrel soup with roots and herbs.  

 

“This is our first meal in this home,” Peeta said.  

 

“It’s not much,” said Katniss, looking sadly at the thin soup.

 

Peeta devoured his bowl of soup. “It’s the best thing I’ve ever tasted.”

 

“You’re just saying that,” laughed Katniss.  

 

Peeta gave her a look that made everything south of her belly overheat.  Before she knew how, she was on their bed naked beneath him as he kissed her feverishly.

 

“Fuck, how come it always feel like the first time we’re together?” he murmured as he made way down her body.  Katniss opened her legs in anticipation because she loved what he was about to do.  

 

“I don’t know, but it’s always so good,” Katniss said. Peeta looked up at her with eyes brilliant with happiness.

 

Holding on to her gaze, Peeta flicked his tongue over her clit, causing electricity to explode over her nerve endings.  He slowly licked her folds, tugging them gently, teasingly, to so that she was squirming, tugging at his curls to get him to give her what she wanted.  He watched her every reaction, reveling in how much she gave to him when they made love, and how grateful he was to have her.

 

Katniss, for her part, could forget everything when his mouth was on her and many times, it was just what she needed to chase away the shadow of their sorrows.

 

“Keep your eyes on me,” he ordered as he plunged two fingers inside of her, sucking on her as he stroked her, at first slowly and then with increased speed as she began to climb.  She did as she was told and held his gaze as he varied his rhythm so that she would come close to her orgasm without quite reaching it, which excited and frustrated her at the same time.  Finally, unable to tolerate the tension that would not break, Katniss hissed “Finish me already!”

 

Peeta hummed against her clit.  “Bossy, aren’t we?”

 

Katniss bucked her hips in response, a movement he could not resist as he lowered his lips on her now swollen clit and sucked on it while pumping her, all the time watching her as she reached her climax, screaming out his name before falling apart.  It was the sexiest thing he had ever seen in his life.

 

Before she’d barely finished, he gently turned her over and pulled her hips back so that she was on all fours.  He massaged her buttocks, prominently pressed out for his pleasure, slipping a finger into her from the back, feeling her seeping heat and moisture.  He groaned at the feel of Katniss open and waiting for him and showered her back and ass with kisses.

 

The feel of his hands and mouth on her made Katniss whimper and she reared back against him, silently asking for him inside of her.  He took his cock in hand and rubbed her entrance, bathing it in her arousal before sinking into her.  He was careful not to ram her because this was the first time he was taking her from behind.  But her eagerness for his cock made him wild as he pushed into her and pulled out, each motion making Katniss moan in pleasure.  

 

“Peeta, that’s so good,” she said as she rotated her hips over him so that he was hitting all of her spots.  Soon, they lost their desire to play and the only sound that filled the cabin was that of their bodies slapping against each other. Peeta reached around to squeeze her breast while Katniss rubbed concentric circles over her clit, making her come apart again.  This time, her clenching walls overwhelmed Peeta and he pulled out of her, spurting hot semen all over her back as he came.  

 

He quickly cleaned her before taking her drowsy body into his arms.

 

“Happy Housewarming Day,” he said.  She looked up at him with those beautiful, bottomless grey eyes.

 

“It was the best…” she said sleepily.

 

Peeta shook his head. “It was our only one so far.”

 

“You see?” she snuggled into him.  “Our best one yet.”

 

**XXXXX**

 

On the first anniversary of their exile, Peeta and Katniss lay on the banks of the lake, holding onto each other.  The sun was setting, an event he insisted on celebrating because it was his preferred time of the day and reminded them of how far they had come since they’d been cast out of District 12.  It had taken a year to the day to establish themselves, which made this particular sunset important because it was their own personal triumph over a death sentence.  

 

So they were both startled when they heard a far away volley of explosions rip open the silent heart of the forest.  They sat up suddenly and looked around them in search of the sound.  It continued for a few hours, terrifying them with its impunity and foreignness.  However, when they saw the top of the trees light up in the direction of District 12, setting the night on fire, Katniss could not help but grip Peeta ‘s collar with both hands until her knuckles had gone white.

 

“Peeta…” she said in agony, hoping to ward off the truth before her eyes.

 

“Katniss, that is a giant fire.” he said slowly, holding her now trembling body against him.

 

“Don’t say it!” she exclaimed, strangling a cry.

 

“It has to be District 12…” he said, breathless with the implication of such a large conflagration over such a small district.

 

It was the longest night of their lives, comparable in agony only to the night Peeta spent in pain after his flogging.  They tried to sleep but were continuously drawn to the glassless window of their small home.  The flames didn’t give up their halo that was only somewhat mitigated by the light of the rising sun.

 

Katniss leapt up, fetching her bow and arrow.  Peeta did not need to be told what was on her mind, throwing whatever he could find in the way of supplies into a knapsack before following her out into the early morning forest.

 

They made extraordinary time, stopping only when absolutely necessary.  Katniss’ heart pounded at the site of the massive grey cloud that had settled over part of the forest. This presented a new difficulty, for ash began to fall around them and if they got too close, they might soon be unable to breath.  Unable to go any further, Katniss and Peeta were forced to return to the lake.

 

**XXXXX**

 

Refugees began to appear within 48 hours of the bombing.  They were lead by Gale, who had gambled the survival of 800 people on the hope that Katniss and Peeta had survived exile.  When he saw Katniss, he did something he had never in his life done - he burst into a fit of sobs that he was only able to control with extreme effort on his part.

 

“They bombed us.  Capitol hovercraft came in and wiped District 12 off the map.” He wheezed from having inhaled ash on his journey to the valley.  

 

Katniss and Peeta were horrified.  “Why? What happened?  Where’s Prim?” Katniss looked at Peeta’s stricken face.

 

“I got Prim and your mother out. They are behind us together with Dr. Abernathy and the wounded.” Katniss’ eyes immediately searched the bedraggled crowd for them.

 

“My family?” whispered Peeta, terror written across his features.

 

Gale shook his head.  “They hit the Merchant quarter first.  There were signs when the Peacekeepers were suddenly withdrawn and people were suspicious but there was no way anyone could guess what was going to happen.  I haven’t seen your family yet, Peeta.  I haven’t seen Madge or anyone from the center. I’m sorry.”

 

Peeta looked like someone had slapped him.  “Gale, rest. We’re going to search the crowds. Then we’ll start organizing everyone.”

 

“We have to,” gasped Gale.  “A lot of them are wounded, kids who haven’t eaten.”

 

“We’ll figure it out.” Katniss used Peeta’s famous refrain, though the words were as hollow as Peeta’s eyes.  Katniss turned towards Peeta and put her forehead to his. “We’ll find them. If they’re out there, we’ll get to them.

 

Peeta nodded his head, his face pale with fear for his family.

 

**XXXXX**

 

It was a monumental effort to organize the number of people who kept appearing in the valley.  At least, there was an unlimited source of water, for which many were grateful. It took hours for Katniss to finally locate her mother and Prim.  When she finally laid eyes on her beloved sister, now taller and more angular for her age and sorrows, Katniss wept with joy. She pulled them desperately in her arms, apologizing for all the pain she had caused.  But Mrs. Everdeen would not hear of it.  

 

“I’m so sorry you’ve suffered so much, my child,” whispered her mother between tears.  She took Katniss into her arms and Katniss fully allowed it.

 

Their first priority was to feed everyone, which required Katniss, Gale, Peeta and other strong men to begin hunting and fishing right away. There was very little time for homecoming because Prim and her mother had to set up triage for the wounded and dying.  In addition, shelter was going to become important so men were assigned to chopping trees and creating some protection from the elements. It was chaos but District 12 residents, especially the Seam folks, were used to hunger and discomfort.  

 

Greasy Sae, an old woman known for her resourcefulness in the kitchen, making even rocks edible,  appeared out of the crowds with her little granddaughter and was soon side by side with Peeta trying  to stretch the game they’d caught into a stew that would feed the mass of people that continued pouring into the valley.  As they arrived, Katniss searched for Peeta’s family. She became hopeless as the numbers dwindled and almost gave up hope when she caught sight of an older gentleman with the same golden hair as his son.  

 

Despite the fact that he had wanted to separate Peeta from her, despite the past that divided them, Katniss greeted the man happily.  Knowing his son and his devotion to Katniss, the old man certainly imagined that if Katniss was alive, so too must be his youngest son.  Behind him followed his wife with severe burns and one of his brothers, the middle one, with a young woman of ashy blonde hair.  Katniss lead them to where Peeta was serving the hungry.  He nearly dropped his ladle when he saw his parents.

 

“Mom!  Dad!” he cried out, the group falling upon each other with hugs of happiness and relief.

 

“Bannock?” asked Peeta, searching behind them as if he would materialize from the trees.

 

Peeta’s mother, the one Katniss and Gale cruelly referred to as the Witch, bit her lip and shook her head, crumpling against Mr. Mellark in tears.

 

“He didn’t make it son. Neither did Amber or the baby.”  Mr. Mellark shook his head while his wife sobbed into his shirt.

 

Peeta’s face crumpled beneath the weight of it and Katniss couldn’t stand it. She pulled him into her arms as he cried. Katniss ran her hands through his curls, looking around at the spectacle of human suffering that surrounded them.

 

“But why did they bomb District 12?  I don’t understand it!” said Katniss desperately.

 

“To make an example of us. There’s been a lot of discontent in the Districts, District 12 included.” said Mr. Mellark tiredly.  “Word in the underground was that the Capitol didn’t want the mines to fall into rebel hands so they decided to kill two birds with one stone - take out the District and set a precedence for future offenses.”

 

“Underground? Rebels?” asked Katniss in total confusion.

 

“Katniss, people have been sick and tired of things for a long time.  District 12 was no exception.  There is an organized revolt taking place as we speak. The Capitol knew it was losing power and decided our district was the most expendable.”

 

Katniss had a hard time processing this new information.  Noting the exhaustion on their faces, Katniss directed his family to their cabin. As soon as they were settled, Katniss took Peeta behind the cabin and into a copse of woods.   Peeta still had that vacant look in his eyes.  Once out of sight, he pulled her into his arms.

“This is too much.” he murmured into her hair.  “What are we going to do?”

 

Katniss pulled back to look at him. “We’ve been here before.  We had hardly anything when we were cast out and we managed to pull it together and survive.  We’ll figure it out here, too.”

 

Peeta nodded. “I know. It’s just...I can’t believe Bannock…”

 

“It’s bad, I know.  And I’m so sorry. But now we have hundreds of people out there who need us.  We are one of only people, besides Gale, who know how to survive in these woods.” Katniss said, smoothing the worry lines from his forehead with her hands.  

 

Peeta gave her a sad smile. “What is it about us and hopeless situations?”

 

“We have a knack for them, that’s for sure.” Katniss replied, relieved that Peeta seemed to be recovering his spirit.

 

“Whatever they are, your place is always with me.” Peeta said, suddenly fierce.

 

“And know that your place is always with me.” Katniss tugged his head down and gave him a kiss full of determination, hope and the promise that they would overcome whatever was placed before them.

 

**Coda**

 

Many things could be said about the people of District 12, but one thing they knew how to do was survive.  They were tenacious, unaccustomed to comforts, even among the most privileged and ready to sacrifice because all they’d ever known was sacrifice. When the shadow of a hovercraft passed over their valley, they learned to fade into the background of the forest, for they had paid enough for a war they had not asked for and did not wish to be discovered by either side.  

 

Those first days with the refugees were harrowing.  Many who did not die in the bombing succumbed to wounds, the malnutrition of their lives at home, and infection.  But those who survived became organized, learning to build a community from the ground up, ignoring finally the false divisions of Castes and classes.  They built shelters and learned to use the abundance of the land around them instead of fearing the false myths put in place to oppress them.

 

When the fires of District 12 died down, they returned to the scorched lands, tentatively at first, and then with more determination when they learned that the Capitol had fallen.  The first President, Alma Coin, didn’t last very long when it was revealed she was no better than Coriolanus Snow and a more just, balanced leader was elected to lead the nation.  

 

Gale Hawthorne had shown leadership and grit in a moment of hardship. There was no doubt that he could be ruthless and angry but the baser aspects of his nature had thankfully not been tested in that valley. He endeared himself even further to the citizens of District 12 when he personally nursed Madge Undersee, his future wife, back to health after she was found close to death among the wounded.  He used his influence to spearhead the rebuilding of District 12, negotiating with the new government for precious resources.  He was soon elected the first Mayor of a free District 12, a triumph for all those who had languished in obscurity as the lowliest caste for so long.

Katniss and Peeta returned home with their respective families, not as criminal exiles, but as figures of dignity and honor. They had suffered alongside their people, putting away the rancor of their unfair punishment and serving as a symbol to any who would question the rights of people to choose their fate, select who they will love and live as free as their conscience dictated without the censure and oppression of society.  They eschewed political power and kept their places as citizens of the new District 12, devoted to rebirth, reconciliation and each other.

 

**XXXXX**

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can’t thank bubblegum1425 and peetabreadgirl for their constant support. They have been wonderful and so much fun to work with. Thanks also to nightlockinthecave for the phenomenal banner and madamemarquise for the prompt.

**Author's Note:**

> This was specifically written for madamemarquise. Thank you for being such a wonderful friend! A million thanks to bubblegum1425 and peetabreadgirl for their support and hard work as betas. I have to give a shoutout to nightlockinthecave who created the most amazing banner for this work. Keep an eye out for part 2, to be released on Day 7, Black and White.


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